The Only Female Son
by mistyblue814
Summary: Rowen Byrne is a prospect of the Sons of Anarchy Motorcycle Club. She also holds the title of the first female prospect and if she gets voted in, the first female member of SAMCRO. As excited as she is, she knows what being a member means, and not only that, but she knows what being a female member means. This is Rowen's story. I own nothing but the original characters.
1. Chapter 1

_**CHAPTER ONE**_

You would have thought that I hated being the only female prospect in the history of the Sons of Anarchy motorcycle club. But, I was actually a bit proud. Sure some days are harder than others, but I worked my ass off to even become a prospect. Now, I only had about three more months before becoming a member, unless Clay decided to keep me prospecting longer. However, that won't be an issue. At least, I hope that it won't be. I don't want to keep busting my ass and humiliating myself for this.

Sometimes I really do worry that instead of prospecting me, at the end of the year, they will just laugh at me and tell me to go home, that I was stupid and weak and to never show my face around them again. Though I know that many of the guys wouldn't do that, I know that some of them and many other nomad members have hated the idea of me from the start and would love to tell me that. Even though I have proved to them many times that I can handle myself and that I could match them in a fist to fist battle (I mean, I don't like to brag but I put Juice in a head lock with his arms twisted behind his back and on his knees) and I have killer aim. I can ride and I know everything to know about the club, and the law for that matter.

I busted my ass, dealt with the prejudice of being a 'tough female' (as many called it) and being humiliated as a female prospect. People watched me more than the other male prospects. They blended in, like they were supposed to be there in the first place. I was the one who stuck out like a sore thumb who was supposed to be at the whims of their privates rather than their equal.

Like I said, not all of them thought this, but I knew most of them did. It was almost a clear divide about who did and did not want me in the club. It was a big deal for me to even be considered for a prospect. There were nomads from the club who came up to talk to Clay and even some members all across the country who called the club, demanding I be set off. Clay, however, let me stay. I don't know whether it was Gemma behind it, guiding him to let me stay, but he never let me leave. Sure he didn't always support me prospecting, but he didn't completely go against me either. His mood on me for the first couple of months depended on the type of mood he had that day in general. Now though, he seems to be okay with me prospecting.

The people I've never had a problem with are Jax, Opie, Chibs, Juice, and Bobby. As far as I could see, they never treated me any different than how they would each other when they weren't treating me like a prospect, but even then they treated me fairly and like the others.

Juice was the first one who made the 'weak little girl joke' and he was therefore the first person who I had to prove my strength to. I mean, sure he got a black eye, but he we've gotten really close then. I asked him if he was angry that he lost a fist to fist battle with me and he told me there was no shame in losing to someone who could fight well, he would just learn better. And he has gotten better. We sometimes fight for fun and he's been getting better moves. Whether he has been copying them from me he won't answer but he has been getting better. But Juice isn't exactly the type for fighting. It's Kozik, Clay, and Opie who I would not want to get into a fight with. I'd probably get a good slams in, but they are pretty big and got a good enough weight to overpower me.

Chibs was the first person who took me out to see just how well I could shoot. The others were behind the glass, watching me of course, but Chibs was the one beside me, instructing me what to do. I already explained to them that my dad was a hunter and he would let me practice with him sometimes, so I knew how to shoot the huge kick back guns that would leave a bruise on my shoulder. This little trinket hand gun was nothing. A lot easier than those big guns. When I got perfect shots in the head, chest, and arms in four shots close together before talking about it to Chibs, the others thought I was a natural. I wasn't though. I was a terrible shot at first with those big guns, but then I got the hang of it and I was pretty good. Chibs was certainly impressed, even if I told him that I had shot guns many times before.

And even though Jax and Opie were more higher up than me, I considered them good friends. We gave jokes to each other, playfully hit each other. Some people thought that we were flirting, but it was all just jokes and soon everyone saw that.

Bobby was an older brother that took interest, but didn't try and be in every single part of your life. He was nice and could always offer a smile, which was sometimes rare for some of the other members.

Tig was pretty cool about everything too. He made a lot of sexual jokes to me and at first I was offended, but then I got to know him more and I began to realize that he was joking around. Kozik wasn't exactly pleased and he usually let me know verbally or physically, but I mostly ignored him. He wasn't around too much anyway. He usually was gone while I was around. If it were up to me I would have 'shown off my strength' to him too, but by then I was a prospect, not just a random person trying to get in like how it was with Juice. And Piney wasn't exactly thrilled that I was around either, but he never verbally objected, at least not when I was around. However, I think Piney is so closed minded and up his ass that he isn't exactly thrilled if a black person sat beside him on a bus. Chucky mostly was weird around me, we don't usually talk, but I think he likes me. He seems to act like he is friendly to everyone even if he hates them.

At least the other guys prospecting with me warmed up to my arrival. We all basically started at the same time, only a couple of weeks apart, except for James, who was a prospect for a month and a half before me. In our group of four, I was the second to become a member. James Heckler (morely known as Heck in the group as an alias) was a good guy. He never had any trouble with me. He was the one who was the most welcoming from day one before the others came along to his agreement. The other two prospects who came two weeks before me are Elijah Stevens (also known as Dirty Eli or Eli) and Jonah Weaver (also known as Pretty Boy). It took Eli and Jonah a bit to warm up to me, like I was infected with something so they would talk to me as long as I was on the other side of the room. But, after a couple of weeks they warmed up to me. The four of us are almost as thick as thieves. I find it a blessing to do the hard part of prospecting with three guys who I now practically call my brothers.

I think Heck got his name because it was close to his last name. I wasn't around when the name was created. And Dirty Eli was because he easily changed something into a dirty situation. It's strange just how everything you say could be interpreted as 'dirty minded' when you have a person who easily points it out. And I know exactly where Pretty Boy came from since I was the one who created it. The guy worried more about his hair and his looks more than most girls that I have met.

As for me, I, Rowen Byrnes, was known as Row.


	2. Chapter 2

**_CHAPTER TWO_**

I was on my morning run…and I mean morning. It was five thirty in the morning and as usual, I was jogging around the town, my earphones blasting out the song _I Love Playin' With Fire_ by The Runaways. God I wish I was alive at the time they were a band. I would have gone to their concerts in a heartbeat. Actually, a heartbeat would have been too long.

I'm usually up by four thirty in the morning and I'm out running by five-fifteen. It's strange just how productive that I am at four thirty in the morning. I usually watch the news as I have my breakfast before doing some yoga as stretching before my run. I'm usually out for forty minutes to fifty, depends on which route that I take. I don't know why I wake up so early in the morning, but I've never been able to sleep for a long time. I can surprisingly go on four hours a sleep every night for the rest of my life and I will be fine. Again, I don't know how, but I've never been much of a sleeper. Even if I tried to sleep, I'd always wake up after five or six hours. I've never had headaches and I'm never sleepy during the day so I never bothered to take medication to make me sleep.

I looked around as I jogged. One of the reasons why I went out at this time was because it was peaceful. No one was out, it was a comfortable temperature, and I could run to myself without having to worry about cars or other vehicles or having people stare at me as I jogged. It wasn't even people who were checking me out, it was just people in cars or on their porches who stared at me until I was out of their sight. It made me feel uncomfortable.

It was a peaceful run, as usual. It never really was out of the ordinary. It was just a time for me to blast my music to the point of deafness as I let out some steam. It was kind of 'me' time to just run and it felt good. I was never tired or sore afterwards. Somehow, I always felt lighter.

However, this morning, I guess the guys wanted it different. Since I used my phone for my music as well, it came to my attention that someone was calling me when the song just stopped out of nowhere and I could then hear my phone ring to my favourite song: _Born To Run_ by Bruce Springsteen. I took out the earbud plug and the earbud out of my ears and quickly stashed them in my pocket before I looked at the caller ID. What the hell did Bobby want at five thirty in the morning.

Answering it anyway, I slowed down into a walk and asked, "hello?"

"Hey, Row. The guys and I are wondering if you could come over, help us take new inventory," Bobby told me.

I raised my eyebrows and stopped walking, leaning against one leg more as I asked, a slight tone in my words, "and what exactly is so important that it needs to be done at 5:30 in the morning?"

He chuckled, knowing my suspicious attitude wasn't a sign of annoyance but one of 'I'm going to find out what it is before I haul my ass over there'. I then remembered what he said before and I narrowed my eyes, "what do you mean by _new_?"

He chuckled again, "some of the guys decided to go get some…supplies last night."

That's right! Juice told me about that before I left. He said that no one would be in during the night so we could clean and they would be back early in the morning. I had completely forgot since I just went on the alcohol run to fill up their bar and I just dropped off the stuff before going home. I asked him, "new guns?"

"Yeah…a lot actually. That's why we want to get a list. We have the normal ones here, you know, your 'trinket' as you call it, but there are some that look like hunting guns. We don't know what they are, but we figured that you would know more about them. Your father was a hunter right?"

For the thousandth time, yes, but I didn't say that out loud. Instead, I answered him, "yeah, I know about those types of guns."

"We figured, that's why we want you to take a look at them," Bobby said.

I sighed and put my hands at my hips. I know as a prospect I'm supposed to be there at the clubhouse whenever they asked no matter what, but usually they were slightly lenient about that rule, as long as we were there in good time. I told him, "well…shit Bobby you caught me off guard. I'm not at my house and I'm at the opposite end of the town from the club…tell you what. I'll be there in about ten to fifteen minutes and see what I can do." So much for having a shower like she normally did after her runs.

Bobby told her, "we can wait that long."

"See you then."

I hung up and then grumbled "fuck" before I put the earbuds back in my ear, put my music back on, and began jogging to the clubhouse.

I made it to the club house in fifteen minutes. All of the bikes were there, so I knew that everyone was there too. However, I didn't see Heck, Eli, and Pretty Boy nor did I see their trucks, so I assumed that they weren't here. Why would they be though? I was apparently the club's go-to girl for guns. Also, we didn't normally come in until six to eight in the morning. It all depended on what we had to get done or if the club had a party of not. We were the clean-up crew after parties.

Bobby, Chibs, and Opie were outside, smoking when I jogged around the corner and into the huge driveway to the clubhouse and mechanic shop.

That was how I got under the eyes of the Sons of Anarchy. I started working at Teller-Morrow. I enquired about prospecting after I worked for them for about two years to Clay. At first he laughed, but after I told him that I was serious, he started to seriously consider it too. While on the job I did well for working around the club schedule and keeping the cops at bay. I'd even scouted for them before about when not to come home when there were police or other people here waiting for them. Clay and the others knew that I was tough as nails and that I could hold myself well. I got along great with the guys. Clay saw the qualities needed to be a Son, he took my idea seriously.

When my prospecting came to the table, everyone was surprised and confused, but I think after the idea sunk into their heads that I could have been a Son. They knew my qualities of loyalty, carefulness, friendship, quick-thinking, selective impulsiveness, spunk, and even brotherhood. I knew when to keep quiet, when to lie, and when to stall. I was a worthy candidate even if I didn't have a penis. The only people who really spoke out against it were Piney and Kozik, but after thinking on the proposal, all of the others seemed to agree.

It was settled. I was a prospect. I was given that first patch and a leather jacket and believe me, I wore it with pride.

The three of them smiled at me and I gave them a pretty small one back before taking the earbuds out of my ears and I shut my music off as I slowed into a walk, taking deep breaths. I went a bit faster than normal when I jogged so that I would get here in good time.

"I didn't realize this was what you meant when you said that you were caught off guard," Bobby told me.

I nodded and told him, "yeah. If I had known I would've had to come here in the morning then I would have skipped my run."

They nodded. Opie asked in a joking tone, "who runs before six in the morning?"

"Asks the person who can't run at all," I countered back at him, a grin on my face that made the three of them laugh.

Opie nodded and said, "alright, alright."

I grinned and asked Chibs, "can I bum a smoke?"

He nodded and got out his pack and lighter. I took a cigarette and the lighter before lighting it and giving the lighter back to Chibs. I thanked him before turning back to Bobby, "so where's this inventory that I should look over?"

Bobby motioned with his head to the clubhouse and told me, "in behind. The box was too heavy to get through the doors."

I nodded and told them, "wow, you did get a big load. Hunting guns though…what made you go after them?"

Bobby shrugged, "they were with the restand we didn't have time to pick and choose."

"Who would be selling you hunting guns…or why would anyone sell them in the first place. You don't really go to Charming for hunting."

Bobby chuckled, "you act as though they were sold to us."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head, "that was stupid of me to even consider wasn't it?"

The others smirked before I turned around and sighed, "well, come on then. Show me."

Bobby nodded and walked with me around to the back where I saw Jax, Clay and Tig with a large wooden box that came up to a bit above my waist. I asked them, "is it full?" I couldn't see inside it yet. There was still a cover over it. I looked up at Clay and he nodded, walking to it to take off the top. He told me as he did so, "it's full."

I walked closer and watched the opening of the box as it got bigger and bigger. When the top was off, I smiled and chuckled, "Jesus, the classics."

I leaned over and put a hand into the box and took out the first rifle that caught my eye. I carefully took out the heavy gun and held it in both of my hands as I admired it, "a classic Winchester rifle…God do these fire?" I moved it around, looking over every inch.

I had fond memories whenever I saw a Winchester modelled rifle. My father owned a couple of Winchesters and he had let me shoot them a couple of times when he was taking target practices.

After admiring the gun, I took it up to aim it, away from the clubhouse and the guys as I said: "seems like in good condition, but there isn't much packing in the box to keep them in good condition though."

"What can we do with them?" Jax asked.

I shrugged and told them as I lowered the gun, "well, you can shoot them, but you guys don't seem like the guys to use these guns when going on your runs. You're pistol people." I placed the gun gently beside me on the ground before looking back into the bin. Already I could see a variety of guns. Most of them were pistols, but there were mixes of shotguns and rifles. I saw more Winchesters but I also saw Beretta 686 Silver Pigeons, Remingtons, Browning X-Bolts, and more. I looked up at Clay and shrugged, "we could sell them. I mean, we'd have to test them out somewhere out of town, but we could try em, see how well they do, get money off of them. I highly doubt any of us are going to use anything but the revolvers and pistols."

Clay nodded and I picked up the Winchester that I saw earlier before I looked back up at Clay with a small face that was on my face, "except this one. This one's mine."


	3. Chapter 3

_**CHAPTER THREE**_

I walked over to Juice, handing him one of the Winchester Rifles. I had already given guns to all of the other guys, who were looking over the large and powerful rifles. I had my sunglasses on and my hair up to make sure I could see everything. About forty feet away were my newly bought gun targets for practices. The guys wanted to test out the rifles since almost all of them had never held one before. They wanted to see how powerful they were. We were way out of Charming and in about a half hour the sun would start to set. I bought all of the bullets needed and a large number of them as well as five targets. Gemma, Heck, Eli, and Pretty Boy were wanting to stay out of the shooting, knowing well to let the actual club members go first.

I'll admit that it was fun having them under my finger, for once I was teaching them what to do. This was new to them all, I was the one who had the knowledge and I can tell that it made them respect me, look up to me a little.

And that felt good.

I felt like I was one of them, like I wasn't the prospect, that I wasn't the girl amongst men, I was with them and I was working with them. And because of the way that they all acted towards me because of my knowledge made them indifferent. They didn't care. I was with them and they were working with me like I was already in the club, like I was already a brother.

It felt great.

I walked over to them, moving behind them, though when I started talking they all turned to look at me, "you know the normal, unwritten rules for guns. Don't point the gun at anyone, when you are done with it immediately put on the safety if you can. I already showed you all those and if yours doesn't have a safety, you handle it with the utmost care. The last thing we need are hospital trips. Don't play stupid with the guns, you know their damage. And don't move anywhere near between the guns and the targets unless everyone's gun is down."

They all nodded. The first group was Clay, Jax, Bobby, Chibs, and Kozik. I picked up my Winchester after double checking it was out of bullets before I got it into stance, everyone watching. The guns were all in the back of Heck's truck. We all grouped into vehicles to make sure that the cops didn't suspect anything and we were far enough that the sound might range far, but it shouldn't reach into Charming.

Once I knew that my gun was ready, I told them as I brought it up, "put it against your shoulder, most are pretty heavy, but make sure that you don't have slacked arms, tight and held tightly." I put my gun up, demonstrating to them. When it was up, I looked over at the five to see them doing the same. Once they were all in the stance I put my gun down and held it normally before telling them, "do you see the eyepiece? That's what you look for to see the target better." With my gun, I held it up in one hand, pointing to the eyepiece with the other. The five looked over at me, the others watching to know what they had to do. When they leaned a bit more into the gun to look through the eyepiece I smiled. I told them, "most will have a bit of a kickback, that's what they are supposed to do, so be prepared. Hold it against your shoulder as best as you can. The kick back will probably surprise you for the first time."

They nodded and got back into their stance. I walked behind them and I told them to go when they were ready. I crossed my arms, looking between them. Clay was the first to shoot and I noticed he moved a bit from the kickback. Bobby was next and from each person, it was then Chibs and Jax, Kozik going last just by a second behind Jax. When they were done the first shot, they put on the safety and turned around to look at me. I smirked and asked, "well, what did you think."

"You're right, they are a lot heavier. A lot harder to aim and shoot," Clay commented, rolling his one shoulder a bit.

I grinned, "not used to the kick back?"

He chuckled and Chibs said, "certain'lay different, not bad but on runs I wouldn't want ta use them. The need more control."

I nodded and looked at Bobby. He shrugged and said, "I like them. Like Chibs said I wouldn't use it on club runs, but for protecting my home I would trust this better than a glock or pistol. Seems like it would do more damage."

I nodded, "larger bullets with a bit more punch. They are hunting guns, designed to kill, not like pistol ones, small and can easily go through the body."

Kozik shrugged, "personally, not my thing."

I shrugged and Jax said, "I think it would be more to use if they weren't so big and heavy, hard to hide them."

I nodded, "like I said, used for hunting guns. Not exactly meant to be conspicuous."

The chuckled and I looked over their shoulders at the targets. All five of them got pretty good. Not in the middle or too close to it, but in the circles, which is a lot better than what some people can do. Hell the first couple of times I couldn't even get it on the targets. I said, "good job though. Not everyone can even get it on their first try with these guns. You all did pretty well."

The chuckled and Clay said, "Row, we can shoot guns."

I chuckled and asked, "you five want to do it again?"

Kozik was out and it was Juice who took his place. I went beside him, looking at everyone in the line up though, but I made sure he had the correct stance before I heard all five shoot. Juice was a pretty damn good shot. Third line from the middle. I patted his shoulder when he put his gun down, "Damn good job. You done this before?"

He shook his head and I chuckled, "well, lets see if it was a lucky shot."

I knew Juice didn't exactly always get encouragement and praise wasn't always on his table. I was glad to see the smile and short nod before he went into stance again, going on the positive feedback that I gave him. All of them kept shooting until their bullets in their guns ran out. After the safety was put on, I helped Tig, Piney, and Opie into their stance before watching them shoot. Piney only did a couple because of his age and health before putting on the safety and moving back from the other two. Opie was pretty good, not as good as Juice, but probably second best.

Once they were done, I brought out the other selections, laying them out on the back stand of the truck. I looked at Clay and asked, "well, what's the next one you want to try?"

Jax went foreward and picked up a gun, smiling, "how about this one."

I looked at it and smirked, "Alright. This one is loud. I remember that from when my dad and uncles used these. Their louder than the guns we just used."

He nodded and said, "bullet me."

I gave him a weird look before chuckling. I took the gun and I placed the bullets in it. It was one of those ones where you took the shells of bullets out by a crank. Once it was set, I walked carefully with the gun and him to the ranges and I told him as he stood on the other side of me, "I'll go first and show you how to change bullets. Did you ever have a plastic gun where you cranked it?"

Jax nodded. I told him, "it's like that. It'll have a bit of a kick, but not too much, nothing worse than the Winchesters."

Jax nodded again and all watched in interest and silence as I put the gun up and aimed it through the eyepiece. I held my stance for a couple of seconds before I pulled the trigger. I wanted to make sure I would get a good aim. I managed to hold myself from the kickback since I knew it was coming. There was a loud piercing but it was still the sound of a gunshot. I put the gun down and I used the black piece and moved it down and up. There was a clicking sound and a golden shell fell to the ground. I could hear slight cheering from the guys and I looked at the target. I was just on the line right before the middle. I smirked and turned to them, "told you I can aim like a motherfucker." They chuckled before I let go of my stance entirely.

I looked at Jax and carefully handed the gun to him. I moved and he got into stance on where I was. I stood beside him and made sure he had it right before I took some steps back. After a couple of moments of silence, Jax shot and I looked at the target as he lowered the gun. Pretty good, not as good as me but pretty good. Juice came up and asked for the next shot with the gun and Jax carefully handed it to him. I made sure Juice was in good stance before shooting. Like the other times, he was very good, still close to the middle circle target. Juice grinned and I said, "Really good. Are you sure that you have never used these types of guns before?"

Juice shook his head and I nodded. Bobby was up next and he took the gun before holding it up and shooting. He put it down and said, "I like this one."

I chuckled, "it looks pretty doesn't it?"

Bobby chuckled and said, "fuck off."

I grinned again before he took the gun, taking out the rest of the ammunition out. I looked up and saw Tig walk over with another gun. I chuckled and knew that gun right away. I asked him as he walked over, "are you sure that you want to try that one."

"Why shouldn't I, doll?" Tig asked with a grin.

I answered him, a small smile on his face, "well, for one thing it's got a kickback that will possibly give you a bruise." She remembered those, the gun that gave her a slight yellow bruise from the kickback when she practiced shooting with it with her father.

Tig chuckled and said, "no offense doll, but I think I got a bit more meat and muscle on me than you do."

I shrugged and told him before I crossed my arms, "Alright, whatever you say. Word of advice though, make sure your stance is tight and…" She unwrapped her arms before pulling down her jacket and the tank top and bra strap under it until it was just above her breast and you could see the shoulder. With her other hand, she made a fist below the bone of her shoulder right beside the starting crease from her arm and chest, "put it here. Believe me, you aren't going to want that right on the bone."

The others were listening and I could see some of them grinning, knowing that Tig was stubborn and that since I had experience, they knew he should listen to me. Tig chuckled and shrugged as I fixed myself up and looked over his stance as he made it. Even though he took her warning, he still thought she was kidding. She grinned and let him fire. After the shot was made, I saw him sway the slightest and he put down the gun. I bit my lip to hold in my chuckle and so did the others as Tig rolled his one shoulder where the gun was as he put it down. I asked him, a smile on my face, "got a slight kickback right?"

He looked at me and chuckled, as he said with a small smile on his face, "just a bit."

I shook my head and picked up the gun before walking to the guys. I unloaded the bullets and I took out the shell of the one used by Tig. Going to the group, I told them, glad how they listened so intently, "this is a Harrington & Richardson Ultra Slug Hunter. These babies take 12 Gauge bullets. And both the gun and the bullets pack a big punch, as Tig will tell you I am sure."

The others chuckled and I took out the bullets to show them, the large red ones. I showed them the already used one and said, "these things are full of little metal bullets. If you look at the targets, you will see that these get a wide range, not as far as the others, but are wide. These are the guns that you should buy for protecting property and Clay I would highly recommend them for the clubhouse." I moved out of the way so they could see the targets. There was a long line of small bullet holes all across the three Tig was near. I explained and gestured with my hands, "the bullets spread out so you are guaranteed to hit your target one way or another with a large amount of bullets. You aim to shoot beside a raccoon you will kill it. They are mostly used for deer or elk. They get the job done. And I bet you a human probably wouldn't live to tell the tale of getting hit by these guys."

Clay nodded. And I put the gun and bullets down before I said, "pick out your gun and give them a try. I've had experience with almost all of these." Opie chuckled and picked up a gun, "good, because this is fun."

I was glad, well more than glad. For once they actually really looked at me like I was one of them. I knew that Kozik wasn't too up with the guns, but he was still looking at me like I was a Son, not a prospect or a woman. For once I could show them something about me and they were really interested and they respected me. They didn't ignore me (though I knew Tig was playing) and they didn't try and call me out on bullshit. For tonight, I really felt like I was one of them and that feeling is the reason why I am trying so hard to be a Son.


	4. Chapter 4

**_CHAPTER FOUR_**

Guns had taken a bit longer than I expected. Don't get me wrong, it was fun and I think that a lot of the guys had a lot of fun too, but I didn't expect that we wouldn't be making our way back to Charming until about one in the morning. I don't get tired too easily, but I needed some sleep by that time. We decided to have some fun with the guns in the dark, which looking back on it now probably wasn't a great idea, but at the time seemed like a lot of fun and it was a lot of fun. We bet who could shot well in the dark. I can't even remember who one, but I remember laughing a lot. Gemma had to be the mom and tell all of us no when we asked for beer, but I knew even then that it probably wasn't a good mixture to have drunk guys shooting guns in the dark. We had some light from the truck headlights, but it wasn't enough.

I decided to take a night at the clubhouse. I knew that I would probably sleep in a bit later to get some more sleep in, but my Harley was still at the clubhouse so I could go home when I wanted to and go for my run. Hopefully the guys wouldn't need me until then. The clubhouse wasn't dirty so there was no quick need to clean it and I don't think that Clay had any plans on doing things too important for my attention. I think they were just going to figure out where and how to sell the new guns and to whom. I wouldn't think that they would need me for that, but I would always keep my phone on just in case they did for some reason need me.

Since I didn't have any clothes with me I just took off my jeans and went under the covers. They were soft and covering and I was only under the sheets for about fifteen minutes before I fell asleep. I could hear the guys getting rowdy last night. Clearly they weren't ready to leave the fun and go to bed. However, they didn't last long and after an hour I heard peace. I could only guess that the guys passed out all around the clubhouse. Sometimes that was a really fun aspect of being a prospect, seeing what new positions the guys seemed to pass out in. I once seen Opie halfway leaning over the bar, his legs the only thing holding him up as he was upside down. How he managed not to fall was beyond me but I didn't exactly appreciate the view with him having no pants on for that.

As I woke up in the bed and remembered why I was sleeping at the clubhouse, I couldn't help but feel a sense of accomplishment. I think the guys took a big step in accepting me. They were attentive and actually enjoying themselves. They treated and acted like I was level with them, which is something I didn't think that I would get when I first started prospecting.

I looked around the room and got a shock to my life. I narrowed my eyes down at Juice since he was sleeping soundly, passed out on the floor, fully clothed. When did he even enter the room? I'm sure that I would have heard him. I decided to shrug it off, he was probably looking for a room and stumbled into mine thinking it was empty.

Getting up from the bed, I stretched my arms above my head before heading to the washroom. I shut the door behind me and I leaned over the sink, looking at myself in the mirror before I brushed my hair the best that I could with my hands. Taking the hair elastic off of my wrist, I looked at myself in the mirror as I placed my hair in the ponytail. Afterwards, I looked down at the sink and leaned over before turning on the hot tap. I waited for a couple of seconds, letting the water get hot before I cupped some of it in my hands and splashed it onto my face. I let out a sigh before turning the water off and turning to get a towel. I dried my face before looking down at myself. I would need to go home and change into some shorts, but that shouldn't take too long.

I left the bathroom and moved out of the room, shutting the door and leaving Juice on the floor. It wasn't like I could move him without waking him up. He would have been dead weight. I began walking down the hall and turned a corner before jumping, seeing Gemma at the bar cleaning up. Both her and I laughed and I said, "Jesus Gemma I wasn't expecting anyone up."

The brunette woman smiled as well before she said, "sorry, honey. I didn't expect anyone to be up this early."

I walked over to the bar and sat down at one of the chairs, looking around. It was surprisingly passed out men-free. I looked at her and said, "I usually get up before this, but I was tired for some reason. I slept in a bit."

"Slept in? Goodness!" Gemma commented as she wiped down the counter. I looked up at her and asked, "why are you up and cleaning at this hour then?"

Gemma shook her head, "for whatever reason I couldn't sleep. Clay asked me to stay the night, I helped to wind things down, put the guys in their beds."

"Ah, that explains Juice on the floor of my room," I nodded, laughing slightly.

Gemma chuckled, "I tried to get Juice out but he was on the floor and falling asleep. I didn't think that he would do any harm so I just left him there."

I nodded, "It was just a surprise when I woke up. I'm surprised that I slept through it."

"It would have been more wild if there were more crow eaters here, but it was late by the time we got here, most of them left or were sleeping. Bobby, Tig and Chibs got a few but nothing else really went on. They were already drinking, they didn't have enough time to get super rowdy," Gemma explained.

I nodded again and said, "well, it seemed like the guys had a good time. Good thing we had you Gemma you were our safety net. I'm sure we would have had more last night if you hadn't stopped us."

Gemma chuckled, "that's what I'm here for hun." I smiled and Gemma said, keeping my attention, "I think you made a big…well deal to the guys last night. Clay wouldn't stop talking about it. I didn't think that he would really ever agree to all this, but he seemed to like you. He told me the first night that you asked him to prospect that he hates to go against tradition, but he saw something in you like how he saw something in the other guys and founding members here in SAMCRO."

I beamed and she looked up at me, giving me another smile before saying, "he really liked what you did last night, showing off a bit and teaching them about the guns and stuff…it's hard to put into words but all I am saying, darling, is to keep doing what you're doing. Clay liked you before this and he really liked you after last night."

I was smiling, not even thinking about my expression, just that Clay seemed to like me. I always thought that it was Gemma who kept forcing Clay to keep me in the group, but it wasn't. Maybe Gemma helped a bit, but everything was still through Clay and his thoughts. He actually wanted me here.

I told her, "thank you, Gemma. You probably made my day by telling me this."

She smiled and said, "I never thought that I would see a woman in here that wasn't an old lady or croweater, but the guys really seem to like you and Clay's right, you have the right set of skills for being in this club."

Clay said that?

"I'm just worried that last minute they are going to back out," I confessed.

Gemma shook her head and told me, taking one of my hands in both of hers, "honey, with this club, there is nothing to worry about. This charter likes you. The only reason why Clay is a bit hesitant is because he is in one charter, and you just prospecting hasn't been the best…reporting to other charters. The talk to Clay and the others, but he stands his ground. The only one here that might say no to you becoming a member is Kozik, but between you and me, he might go out again, so he might leave you alone then. If Clay says no, it won't be because he doesn't like you, Row. It would be because the other charters and nomads got too involved, but he wouldn't sentence you to exile or ask you to black out your tat."

I nodded as she talked, silent until she said everything that she wanted to. Once she was done, I sighed and said, "that's just what I am worried about. I worked so hard for nothing."

Gemma let go of my hand with one of hers and brought it up to my face before tucking a finger under my chin, "honey, Clay is strong and is best friend with the founding members. He'll have a lot of say. I wouldn't worry too much. If he didn't want you to become a member then he wouldn't have allowed you to prospect."

That put a smile on my face again and it caused Gemma to smile as well. She leaned over and kissed my cheek, "give it time, it's only a couple more months of prospecting, darling. And when you do become one of them, I don't think there will be a prouder Son of Anarchy."


	5. Chapter 5

**_CHAPTER FIVE_**

After my talk with Gemma my mood for the day increased. I rode my Harley home and told her that Clay can call me if he needs me. I wanted to get home, check on the house and my dogs, my little Buddy. It had been almost a year since I didn't come home for the night. I know that they would be wanting out.

After I road into the driveway, I could already hear them backing, welcoming me home. I looked in my front window and I saw three of them, smiling and wagging their tails as they saw me walk up to the front door. I smiled. I knew that my baby was okay then, my little Buddy. If they were happy then he was still alive.

I walked up the stairs and I unlocked the door. Walking inside, I was soon captured by my dog's happy greeting, jumping around my legs and leaning up, paws on my stomach. I smiled, "hey guys, glad to be home too." I kneeled down and began petting all of their heads, letting them kiss my face hello as I smiled. People always thought me to be a cat person, but I was really a dog person. I couldn't stand cats. I liked dogs and I usually liked the company of older, bigger dogs. Or at least medium sized. I had four dogs, two boys and two girls.

Getting up, I let them go outside in the yard to go relieve themselves. I let them out before going to the club, but it might have been a long night for them. Since I lived mostly on the outskirts of Charming I had a pretty big yard for the dogs to run around in. I would have taken them on my walks, but I couldn't take three at a time and I couldn't just take one. It wouldn't be fair. I bought the yard behind me as well since there was just an open field there, so I bought a bit and made it more into a yard. The dogs had lots of room to run around and I had to teach them with shock collars not to go near the road since there was only a fence in the back that wasn't closed in, it just made some boundary for the neighbours since I had people running on my property and other dogs trying to attack mine.

Looking outside, I saw the dogs running around to stretch their legs after going to the washroom. My youngest was a two year old Australian Shepard named Molly. She was still pretty young, easy to train but she had a lot of energy. I got her when I saw her as a growing slightly older puppy in the window of the pet shop in Charming and I couldn't resist her cute face. I was looking for another dog anyway. She cuddled into my arms the whole way home. She liked to stay up at night and look outside as the cars passed before nodding off in the early morning, usually by the time I get up.

Then there was my second youngest, Boomer. Who was a long haired German Shepard. He was four years old, but still very much a puppy. He had a lot of energy, but crashed at the end of the day. He was also like my guard dog because he was pretty protective. And he was it bigger than the normal German Shepard. He got along well with the other dogs and was a bit of a suck up to me when he wanted to be. He was originally my older sister Rachelle's dog…until she found out that she was highly allergic to dogs so she asked me if I wanted him and I accepted him with open arms or else he would have been taken to a shelter and may have been adopted by a family who wouldn't take care of him.

The only dog that was no longer running after getting some new smells of the yard was laying on the ground, looking at me with a smile on her face. She was a old Dalmatian named Sarah, and she was my second oldest, but she was mostly my suck-up. I got her going through the shelter when she was a puppy. Like Molly, she took my heart. I picked her up and she fell asleep right in my arms, snuggling up to me. I mean, I couldn't say no to that little face. And she was going to be transferred within the next couple of days to another shelter if I didn't take her. She sat on my lap the entire car ride home. She was the one who usually followed me around the house and she would sleep either at my side or at my feet when I slept. She was never wild, mostly just a cuddle-up puppy. She was almost eight years old.

I could hear some moving and thumping coming from my living room. I smiled and turned around, giving my eldest child a smile. Buddy slowly came walking towards me and I gave him my biggest smile, going to meet him as I gave him a large hug, petting his back, "hi, Buddy." I said warmly, petting his slowly turning grey, short hair. Buddy was almost fifteen years old. I got him when I was thirteen and just graduated public school with the highest average in my class, and the third highest in the school's history. He was just a puppy then. My black little Labrador puppy. My dad helped me train him. And though he was so old now, he would always be my puppy.

He was old. He couldn't see in one of his eyes and he could barely hear. He didn't walk around much either. It was hard for him to walk and I usually had to carry him up and down the stairs to have him go outside to go to the washroom. I haven't slept in my room for almost eight months too when he couldn't get up and down stairs. He used to sleep at my side on the bed with Sarah, but I moved down to the couch when I noticed that he couldn't go up the stairs. It gets worse and worse. Most of the time he can't leave the living room, but he always manages to force himself to greet me when I came home or at least make it to the door and whine when he needed to go out. The other three were always careful around him and snuggled up to him too.

After kissing his forehead a couple of times, I gently picked him up and held him, his upper body against my shoulder, his head and his paws over it. She carefully walked him out of the house and slowly went down the stairs. She kneeled down on the grass before letting Buddy down on his legs. She let him do his business as she looked around at her other, happy dogs. It killed her to see Buddy this way, but she couldn't kill him. He was still going strong. She would leave him be $until she had to put him down or when he actually did die.

There was a sudden ring from my house. I knew that it wasn't one of the guys from the club. They knew me better to call me on my cell-not my home phone. So I knew that it was either my family or a telemarketer calling me. But it was far too early for them to call.

I went back up the steps and into my house before I went to my phone that was in my kitchen. I saw on the caller display that it was my mom calling. I picked it up and I answered, "Hi mom."

I heard her soft voice over the telephone line, "hello, sweetheart. I was wondering how you were doing."

"I'm fine, actually. Busy. How are you? It's pretty early for you to be calling," I told her as I sat down on one of the chairs on my deck as I watched my dogs.

"Well I know that you get up pretty early. I couldn't sleep and I thought that I would talk to you if you could come over for your father's special service," my mother told me over the phone.

I held in my curse words for the sake of my mom. Christ…it was that time of year. My mother, a holy Catholic, always insisted on all of my siblings and I coming home for my father's special sermon in the church that she goes to. It was a special remembrance of his death.

I've missed it every year since college.

I hated going home for that. Every time my mom balls her eyes out and she goes home that night shaking and weeping herself to sleep as my siblings just wonder what they could do to help her before we fought over who stayed with her to make sure that she would still be okay the next morning, but when you are in mourning no one wants to be with the person that will make them feel even worse about it.

I loved my dad, but I couldn't see my mom like that. It was one of the blessings that I had in college. I always told my mom that I had mid-terms, test, projects that I couldn't miss and that was my escape route. Since I lived about four hours away from her, it was another way to say that I couldn't go. My mother disliked it, but it was my choice. I couldn't stand going to those things. Three years of them was enough.

"Right right…I'll see what I can do mom. The shop is keeping me busy. And Buddy is just getting worse and worse," I learned to give her warning before just out right coming out with it.

I heard my mother sigh. I hated to disappoint her, but I couldn't do that again. I had my own sorrow to deal with during that time I didn't need to care for my mother too.

"I'm sorry mom, I really am," I told her.

"Rowen I haven't seen you for almost two years. You never come home for holidays anymore," my mother complained.

I watched Molly twirl around and chase Boomer, "mom I'm busy. It's hard to make a four hour trip."

"Everyone else but you manages to come. Your sisters and brother miss you too."

"I miss them too, mom. I will do my best to make it this year. I promise."

"Sometimes I wonder if you hate me and your sisters and brother."

I sat up straighter, getting angry, "mom how dare you say that. I could never hate you or the others. Ever. I understand that this time of year you get upset but that does not give you the right to take it out on me. I loved father too, but I grieve in my own way."

"Do you grieve at all? Or do you just feel guilty?" my mother cut back to me.

I held down most of my anger before I told her coldly, "you can call me again when you want to have a legitimate discussion with me about this. And if you keep talking like this then you need not wonder why I never come home."

I hung up and looked at my dogs. There were tears in my eyes but I quickly wiped them away before anyone could see. I looked at Buddy laying down in the grass, Sarah walking up to him and laying down beside him to keep him company. I shook my head and got up off my chair and went back inside to put my phone back before I looked back outside again. I couldn't go back there. Some of them blamed me, some didn't and it wasn't my fault.

I shook my head and turned around, going to lay on the couch. Rowen, you couldn't think about this. Get it out of your head. It wasn't your fault.


	6. Chapter 6

**_CHAPTER SIX_**

I got out of my dark red jeep before I made my way to Pretty Boy's front door. I knocked a couple of times, waiting for an answer. It was later in the morning. Clay was wanting us to clean up the place after a party and to help with some digging, whatever that meant, but Pretty wouldn't answer his phone. I was the one sent to check up on him, and get his ass over to TM.

It was a fucking hot day. I'm not the one to wear shorts, my legs are too skinny, but I knew that I wouldn't last in jeans. It took all I could not to just wear a bra under my cut, but I thought that a tank top would be fine. It was bright red and my shorts were a dark blue. I had my hair up so that it was off my neck. It was one of the hottest days of summer and I felt like I would melt. I took wore my sunglasses but it seemed like a heavy weight on my skin.

After a couple of minutes I heard the door unlock and I stood up a bit straighter and moved a bit away from the door. I watched it open and I smiled at the face that greeted me and I pulled up my sunglasses and looked at her, "hey Ashley. It's been a while."

The brunette girl with blonde highlights gave me a smile. I could tell by her long wet hair and how she was dressed in sweats that she had just gotten out of the shower. And I wished that I could spend all day in one. You couldn't run out of cold water could you?

He girl smiled and told me, "hey, Row. It has been a while, but I'm guessing you're not here to see me are you?"

I chuckled and shook my head, "always good to see you Ash, but I'm on messenger to get Jonah. He here? He's not answering the phones and Clay is getting a bit pissed."

Ashley shook her head, "I told him how many times that the phone was ringing. He didn't believe me. Wanted to keep going. You know guys."

I shook my head and rolled my eyes, "not really but I know Pretty Boy."

She chuckled. Ashley was Pretty Boy's girlfriend of two years, almost three. From what I had seen of them together they were pretty cute. Apart you never would have guessed that they would work well, but they did. After getting to know Jonah I got to know Ashley pretty well. She was a gorgeous girl. I was so jealous of her and her looks. People complement me on my skinny waist and boobs, but she had an hour glass like figure. She had green eyes that were shaped nicely by her glasses and she always seemed to have a nice tan. She looked strong and she looked pretty. But I knew her attitude. Sweetest bitch you would ever meet, Ashley. She seemed quiet and innocent at first, but then it's a different story, but not a bad one. We got along, we thought the same and her attitude was fun. In general she was just fun to be around.

Ashley chuckled before telling Rowan, "he's in the shower right now."

I chuckled, "thank god. We all wanted to say something."

Ashley chuckled herself before she looked over her shoulder when we heard, "thank God for what? That I'm here?"

I chuckled and Ashley said, "no, that you don't stink anymore."

I saw Jonah come around to the door, a towel around his waist. I shook my head and looked away, "Jonah, put some pants on. I don't need to see those parts of you."

He chuckled, "you've seen the other guys. It's just a dick."

"I'd rather not know what my friend's privates look like thank you very much. It was bad enough that I see all of those other's. Unnecessary sight," I told him.

Ashley giggled before I looked at Jonah, "Clay is pissed off, Pretty. You're not answering your phone, Eli and Heck are finishing cleaning up the place, but Clay wants us to bury something and I'm going to guess it's a body or two."

He nods and sighs, "I just got clean."

I shrugged, "I'd get going if I were you, clean ass or not or else you will be wiping Clay's."

Ashley looked at him and said, "I'm staying here all day, remember? I'll see you tonight."

He looked at me and I put my sunglasses on again before Jonah said, "I'll call Clay, apologize. Can I come with you?"

I nodded, "that's what I was told by Clay to do."

He nodded and said, "give me five minutes and I'll be out."

I nodded and gave a nod to Ashley who smiled and gave me a bit of a wave back before moving back with Jonah and shutting the door. I turned around and I went to my jeep, turning it back on before putting on the radio. I smiled at the familiar tune and I turned up the volume as I heard the hard bass guitar of _You Give Love A Bad Name_ by Bon Jovi. When Jonah came back out wearing his clothes and cut I unlocked the doors and he got in the passenger seat. I looked at him and said, "get ready for getting yelled at."

Both of us grinned and I drove out of his driveway and went down the roads towards TM, both of us screaming with the song, laughing our asses off the entire time.

Clay sure wasn't kidding when he said digging. Apparently on their latest run last night they needed to get rid of a couple of witnesses. It was only two, but they needed to be gone and that fell on me and the other guys. Opie, Tig, and Jax were around before to keep watch, but then left to go on a beer run. They thought it was hot too. Luckily for them though they weren't digging holes. But they promised to get the rest of us prospects some more water so I would wait for them to come back and I would hope that it would be soon. But they have been gone for almost a half hour. I knew they were just fooling around by now.

The bodies smelled disgusting. They were right behind me. I worked with Heck to make one whole while Dirty Eli and Pretty Boy worked on making the other one. I felt even hotter than before. At least Heck and I were almost done the hole. I hated the feeling of sweat in my bra and down my back and staining my shirt. The guys had taken their shirts off, but they might as well kept them on. You could still see the sweat and it was disgusting, but at least they weren't covered like I was. My shirt felt like it weighed like a winter coat.

I looked at Heck and he looked back at me. We seemed to be thinking the same thing and he said, "I know, they better be coming back."

I groaned and leaned on my shovel before looking over my shoulder, "you know, we could have just set them on fire. It would have saved us all this trouble."

Eli laughed, "that would be too simple."

I chuckled, "true enough." I looked down at the dirt.

Heck asked, "do you think this is deep enough?"

I looked down and I shook my head before saying, "a couple of feet deeper."

I pressed my hands to my hips. Damn I needed water. I already drank all of mine.

"Rowan—," he started before I looked up at him angrily and he was frozen. So were the other guys. They just looked at me and they knew what I was thinking. Heck sighed and said, "well I need to take a break. I might pass out."

I nodded and let him go lean against one of the sides of the hole. I looked down at the dirt and closed my eyes. I needed a rest too, but I couldn't do that. So, after a couple of moments of thinking, I whispered, "fuck it."

The guys turned to look at me as I placed my shovel against the side and I took off my shirt and threw it on the other side of the bodies before wiping my brow. I knew that I looked good so my body issue wasn't the problem. And in the weather of where it seemed like be naked or die, I didn't have a problem of them seeing my black and pink spotted bra. When it was off, I let out a sigh of relief. It made a lot of difference.

I looked at the three of them and warned, "stop staring."

Pretty shook his head before he began to shovel again, "no judgements here. It's too fucking hot."

Eli opened his mouth and I told him, "shut it." Although I couldn't help but smile and neither could they.

I grabbed my shovel again and I began working again. Heck looked at me and said, "you know, you can take a rest once in a while. The club knows that you are tough."

I kept my head down, still digging up dirt before I shook my head, "that's too easy for you to say."

"I know it seems that way, but everyone has your back."

"It's not the same."

I shoveled out more and more dirt, trying to keep with my anger. Pretty told me, "Row I know it's not the norm of the culture, but things are changing. And the guys know that, and they seem to support you."

"And they could be until they vote for me."

"They will vote you in."

"How do you know?"

I looked up at him and he sighed, "all I'm saying is that you don't need to constantly prove yourself. You can take a break every once in a while."

I glared at him, still working, "I'll take a break once I get my patch."

I knew that they were going to say more but I heard motorcycles in the distance. I quietly thanked myself in my head before seeing Heck and the guys get back to work as well. I looked down, maybe half a foot left. That would work. It would soon be over. I'll just push all the dirt into the hole afterwards over the body.

I saw Tig, Opie, and Jax ride up and park beside us. They looked down at us and Tig grinned, "what the hell happened. How long were we gone?"

I knew he was mentioning me and I looked up and grinned, "no need to be jealous that your stomach and chest are fat and hairy, but you can be proud your boobs are bigger than mine."

Jax and Opie laughed and so did the other guys. Tig shook his head and said as he felt up his shirt, "everyone is pretty in their own way."

I laughed and so did the others before handing us a pack full of water bottles. I took one and opened it immediately, "thank the Lord."

Jax looked at Heck and my hole before telling us, "hey that's deep enough. Don't wear yourself out too much."

I saw Heck look at me in the corner of his eye and I shook my head and just nodded to agree with Jax, "okay."

They nodded and I looked at the body before looking at Jax again, "can I just kick him in the hole. It doesn't need to be a nice sitting in does it?"

Jax looked at Tig and Opie and they shrugged, opening a bottle of beer, "Nah."

I nodded and took a large drink of water myself, almost drinking up half the bottle before hauling myself out of the hole and looking over the body, before using my feet to push it into the hole, tumbling before being placed on its side. I looked down on it and grumbled, "is this all Clay wants for the day?"

Tig shrugged, "I think so."

"Good." I grabbed my shovel and began to put the dirt in, "because I'm done for the day too."

Opie nodded and said, "oh! But we talked in Church and we need to bring you all up to speed."

All of us looked up at them and I leaned against my shovel as Tig nodded and told us, "we have a member coming out of the pen soon, Happy Lowman. He's been in there a couple of years, none of you know him. Just wanted to keep you up to speed."

I and the others nodded, "are we helping to pick him up?"

Tig shook his head, "no, we all just thought that you all should know that next week there is going to be another full patch member around."

I nodded. Great. Another person to try and get on my side. Hopefully he'll be easy to warm up to.


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER SEVEN**

I was working on a car's engine. For some reason the battery wires just did not want to connect to anything. The weather had died down a bit, but it was still pretty hot. There were one too many jokes about me wearing short shorts and tank tops to help me keep my temperature down and I had to give warning. What I was really glad about was that they respected it and though there was a snide comment once in a blue moon, I could handle that.

I was leaned over in the car when I heard the footsteps coming towards me. I didn't look up, but I saw in the corner of my eye a person's boots and I knew who they belonged to after seeing them around the club.

"Is there something you need, Clay?" I asked, placing new wires to the car battery.

"I thought I should give you a debrief of Happy Lowman. Tig says that he told you and the other guys about him getting out?" Clay said.

I knew that he wanted to talk, so I moved out from under the car and wiped my hands on my already dirty and oiled legs. Looking up at him, I leaned against the car and waited for him to talk.

Clay sighed and said, "I thought that I would warn you about Happy. Are you aware of his history?"

I grinned, "the Tacoma Killer? Yeah. I didn't learn Happy was his actual name for a while."

Clay nodded again and he said, "we've been keeping him up to date about…well about what happens at the club and—"

"Me," I sighed and nodded, looking down.

Clay was silent for a moment and said, "mostly about who left this charter, who the prospects are, which you are included in."

I looked at him and nodded before putting my hands on my hips, letting him start again so he can tell me what I should know. I knew that this was Clay giving me a fair warning of what was to come. He was making sure that I was prepared for what I could face. I knew this wasn't going to be good or easy then.

Clay told me, "he's not too impressed. We tried talking to him. I think it will change when he gets to know you, but until then I think you should get the fair warning that he can be pretty blunt and vocal about his thoughts and he is no way worried about being rude."

I nodded and he said, "I mean it, Row. He will make Kozik look like the Catholic Pope. I know Happy. He'll come around. But until then, don't take to heart what he says or does."

I kept nodding and I told him, "thanks for the heads up."

Clay nodded and looked down at the car and said, "you do know that it's quitting time, right?"

I shrugged, "I'm just about done, might as well finish what I started."

Clay nodded and said, "we are having the party soon. We want to make sure that everything is set up and ready for the welcome home party. Some of the guys and I are going to be heading out soon."

I nodded and gave him a small smile before I told him, "I'll make sure we have all the starter packs, and a bit extra. I'm gonna guess a lot of hang arounds will be here tonight, sweet buds too."

He grinned and said, "atta girl. I think Heck and Dirty are on the booze run."

I nodded, "I'll make sure the clubhouse is clean and ready. Do you want me to serve the drinks?"

Clay shook his head and answered me, "no, Pretty Boy said he would handle that, Dirty would help him if needed."

Nodding again, I looked down at the under hood of the car before I told him, "I'll finish this off then I'll head straight into the clubhouse."

Clay smiled, "good. See you in a couple of hours." I looked back up at him and gave him a nod and a smile before he walked away. Once he was out of my eyesight, I bit my lip and sighed before looking down at the car. Truth is, this day had been on my mind all week. I was nervous. From what I heard of Happy, I knew that he would be a hard man to pull onto my side. I couldn't think straight all day and it was why I was going overtime into fixing this damn car. I was too preoccupied. Clay and the others said that I wouldn't need to worry about Happy and I knew that I should give them that credit since they actually knew him, but he did not seem like the type who would think that the Sons of Anarchy should have a female member.

I tried to keep a level head and I worked on the car, finishing a half hour later before I closed the hood and made my way to the clubhouse. I heard the group of bikes leave long before I had decided to go. So far things were pretty quiet. The prospects and I had a couple of hours before the boys came back, and there weren't too many sweetbuds around, most came about a half hour before the parties started. So did the hang-arounds.

Even the hang-arounds that had been here before knew not to stir trouble with me. After the one grabbed my ass I twisted his wrist so hard behind his back that there was almost a POP sound. After that I threw him to the ground and leaned over him and looked into his frightened and surprised face as I told him that if he ever tried to touch a woman like that around me that I wouldn't be so polite.

The guys laugh and gave me a cheer. It felt good to have back-up.

Stepping into the clubhouse, I saw Pretty walking around and I gave him a smile, "hey."

He looked over at me and gave me a smile as well, "hey. Cleaned the bathrooms, so that's done."

I chuckled, "good. I didn't have to pay you to do them then."

"You would have paid me?"

"You know very well that after that mess of a party that I learned to stay the hell away from the bathroom that those guys share."

He laughed out loud and asked me, "oh God. Who was that again? Wasn't it Tig?"

"He never admitted to the shit flung all over the walls and toilet, but my bet is still on him. But at least he could say that he clogged the toilet with that sweetbud's underwear," I laughed as I grabbed some supplies to start cleaning the tables.

"I don't know. Tig can't handle shit, but he's better than that," Pretty said as he began cleaning the bar.

"Out of all the guys in here, Tig is the most fucked up one. I wouldn't put it past him. Not to mention he was drunk as hell. Didn't remember half of that night. Not to mention that I can picture him and blondie just sitting on the ground, him giggling like a fucking school girl as he flung it around and smeared it on the walls," I answered as I began to clean the tables, wiping them down hard to make them shiny.

I heard Pretty chuckle and said, "true enough. Wasn't there some drugs being passed around?"

"Doesn't surprise me. That was the line I wouldn't cross."

He laughed out loud and leaned over the counter, holding his side and he said, trying not to laugh, "I remember you and Heck walking up and opening the bathroom door and you literally were there for two seconds before you turned right around and said, 'fuck this shit. The line has been drawn' and walked off."

I couldn't help but hold in my laughter, "wasn't my fault. That was disgusting."

He shook his head, still laughing, "I remember you walked into the guys and Opie asked what you were doing and you looked him straight in the eye and said, 'you give me shit about this then I will shit all over you like that bathroom'."

I was holding my side, laughing so hard that I began to wheeze a little and hid my face in my hands, "the guys learned that I dropped the line at cleaning that."

He shook his head and I went back to cleaning the tables. After a bit of silence, Pretty brought it up: "so how do you feel about Happy Lowman coming?"

I sighed and kept my back to him, "I would rather not talk about it."

I heard someone come inside and I knew by the heels clicking so proudly that it was Gemma. I looked up and she gave me a small smile.

"You didn't go?" I asked her.

She shook her head, "the guys have this one. I thought I would be more help here. None of you have been to a welcome home party. They get pretty...well…loud."

I chuckled and Gemma walked to me and I knew that it was personal time. Dammit she must have heard me. I looked away and told her, "not now Gemma. I'm trying to calm my nerves."

I heard Pretty say behind me, "I have a vodka bottle for that."

I smirked and shook my head, "no, it's fine."

Gemma crossed her arms at me and told me, "you worried Hap is going to sway your decision in the club."

It wasn't a question. She knew it was a fact. I shrugged and she told me, "baby girl, don't worry. Clay said he talked to you. Yeah he's going to be rude, but he does that with every new person. I've known Hap for a while. He'll give in. He has to get to know you first. Trust me, he'll love you once he gets a wiff of your personality. You and him have a lot in common…in different ways but there are similarities."

I rolled my eyes and she said, "trust me, Row. Nothing is going to come between you and your patch. I know Happy. Give him time. What he says tonight will be different from what he says in two weeks."

Sighing, I looked back up at her and I shook my head, "I just worry."

Pretty said from behind me, "the guys and I try and talk to her, but she seems pretty determined."

I looked back at him and growled, "because it's so easy for all of you three to say. You don't have to try extra hard like I do, constantly keep everything up to make sure that I even have a chance to get in."

Gemma told me, "that's true. I won't deny that it's harder for you, but I need you to believe me when I say that if Clay or the others didn't like you then they wouldn't have let you stay."

I looked up at her and she gave me a weak smile and took off her sunglasses before she told me, "Row, it may be harder, but if you got this far then they will let you in. Happy will let you in too. You'll realize that once you get to know him."

I looked at her and shrugged, "I'll calm down when I get my patch."

She smiled, "only a couple more months."

What I had failed to know then that there would be a lot to happen in those months.

**[[as a note, if you want to see the little trailer that I made for this story then you can watch this: watch?v=41CLfk_Xp0M . I hope that you all are enjoying the book so far. I'm sorry things are slow right now but don't worry, soon things will pick up pace]]**


	8. Chapter 8

**[so...I decided to procrastinate doing my essay and give you all another chapter. Please tell me what you think. :)] **

CHAPTER EIGHT

The party already was going on, had been for about an hour. The guys seemed to be having a good time. I didn't really do much. I was mostly just sitting by the bar, off to the side talking with Heck and Pretty. I didn't want to get in the way. For the first time since I first stepped into the clubhouse, I felt completely out of my element. I wish Ashley would have been able to come and give me company, but Pretty didn't think that Clay would allow it.

When I heard the motorcycles coming in, Pretty gave me a beer and I have been sipping it since, still only halfway through it. Apparently Dirty and Happy had been talking for a while and were getting along well. I could see them from across the room. They were talking with Kozik and Tig. Dirty Eli always got along with those two. Kozik and Tig probably introduced them.

Heck looked at me and said, "I haven't seen you this quiet at a party since you first started. Usually you walk around and socialize, make sure to keep an eye on things."

I groaned, "don't remind me."

"I've met Happy. He's not that bad," Heck said, "he's not that bad of a guy to talk to."

I glared over at him and he looked down, "right…yeah sorry."

Shrugging, I took another sip of beer before I answered him, "it's alright. I'm only trying to help you feel better."

After taking another sip, I looked around and saw some sweetbuds moving on Tig and I knew that his attention would turn soon. I looked around the room and saw Jax sitting with Opie and I thought that I might as well move around. I looked at Heck and said goodbye to him before making my way to Jax and Opie. I sat beside Opie and set my beer on the table. They gave me a smile and Jax asked, "I'm guessing you haven't talked to the Tacoma Killer yet."

"I'm trying to avoid him until I have to actually," I answered him, taking another drink of beer.

Opie shook his head and said, "bet you that Happy is going ot be really impressed if you walked up to him and introduced yourself instead of him talking to you himself and after a period of time."

I shook my head, "it wouldn't be my place either way."

Jax shrugged and he looked over his shoulder to see Tig with a sweetbud on his lap while talking with Kozik and Happy. Clay was walking over, planning on talking to the group as well. Jax turned back to me and he told me, "maybe wait until he is done talking to everyone and done catching up with people."

Shaking my head I felt Opie put his arm around me and I looked up at him. I leaned against him like a brother and sister would. That's really how I could sum up my relationship with Opie and Jax. They were my brothers. All of the guys here were. I warmed up to Opie and Jax the fastest though. They were the ones that made me feel the most comfortable, and they were more around my age, and we had a lot in common.

Opie told me, "Row, I get your nervous, but you don't need to be. Happy will be impressed if you walk around as you normally do, like you are a part of the place. He's a guy who admires a person, whether a man or a woman, who has courage and dare surrounding their life."

I chuckled and Jax nodded, "honestly, hiding away from him is probably the worse thing that you can do." Jax looked over his shoulder and said, "if you head to the bar, you will probably meet him. It looks like he is out of drinks and will go up. Not to mention that it looks like Tig will be getting his own happy meal."

My face twisted and I told him, "please don't ever call a hook up that again."

The boys chuckled and I sighed, "fine. Everyone says I shouldn't worry, maybe I'm just making it worse than it seems."

Opie smiled and unwrapped his arm, "that is exactly what you are doing, idiot."

I made him a face and sighed before saying, "thanks guys. I'll probably see you later in the night. I have nothing to do. Prospecting is boring. I have to make sure none of you die and I can't bring my own fun."

"Fun?" Jax asked.

"Well I'm not a lesbian if you catch my drift." I told them.

The grinned and said, "just go talk to Hap."

I nodded and took my drink before heading back to the bar, Pretty giving me a smile as I sat down on one of the seats. I gave Pretty Boy a smile and asked, "where did Heck go?"

"Went to talk to Bobby and Chibs before the sweetbuds got to them."

I nodded and felt someone beside me, their presence was bold. I turned my head to see the large Happy Lowman beside me. He was a big guy. Not big as in fat, but he was solid like a brick wall. I didn't move though. It was a weird presence. It was bold, but not frightening. At least, it wasn't to me. However, I knew that he was a person that I wouldn't want to make angry.

I heard him ask Pretty, "you one of the new prospects?"

Pretty Boy nodded and gave him a smile, "Jonah Weaver, but people call me Pretty Boy."

I could see Happy grin before saying, "nice to finally meet you. The guys told me a lot about you. Say you're pretty good."

I saw Pretty shrug and ask him, "what can I get you?"

"The hardest beer you have."

Pretty Boy nodded and went to work before Happy finally turned and had a chance to look at me. He raised his eyebrow and I waited patiently, letting him talk first.

He turned his body so that he was facing me more and he leaned against the counter. He gave me a look over, "I'm guessing you're the pussy who thinks she can hit it off here."

I had braced myself for something like this and I shrugged, "since my pussy is hard like your balls I thought that I would give it a shot."

He was silent for a minute and I wondered if I went too far. The words had come out before I really had a chance to think, like always. I really didn't need to give him an even more reason to dislike me, but I knew that I wouldn't stand for not being disrespected.

I watched a smile slowly spread on his face, "Rowan right?"

I nodded and he looked down and let out a low whistle before looking back up at me, "most prospects don't usually talk back to full patched members."

I shrugged, "I'm not like most prospects."

He nodded and said, "trust me, I figured out the moment I looked at you. You're the first person with boobs to wear a cut around here."

"Glad to know that I'm so popular." I answered him.

He took the bottle that Pretty gave him and he turned back to me and said, "look little girl if you think that this is all fun and games playing with the big boys then you are going to have another thing coming your way."

I nodded, "I understand that. I may be a little girl, but I made it in here for a reason. I can play the game and I can play it without getting killed."

"Can you shoot a gun?"

"Go ask Clay about the gun lesson that I gave the guys not too long ago."

Happy stared at me again and asked, "you've been here a while. You understand what it means to keep that patch?"

I nodded and he looked me over again and said, "there is a reason Clay kept you here, but you're going to have to prove to me that you belong here. A person earns their patch here."

"I understand that."

"Do you?"

"Clay kept me here for a reason did he not?"

Happy grinned and said, "it's annoying when you repeat my words."

I grinned back, "it's annoying when you call me pussy."

He grinned and said, "have fun trying to survive kid."

I nodded and he made his way back to where he was. I looked over at Pretty Boy and he said, "see, not that bad."

I sighed and said, "he's going to be on my ass."

Pretty Boy nodded, "give it time. He has to get to know you. He'll see that you don't need to prove yourself that you belong here."

I nodded and sighed before I turned and asked him, "can I get Brandy."

He grinned, "the whole bottle?"

I looked at it and shrugged, "it would probably make things easier."

I smiled and so did he. I let the weight go off my shoulders. I knew in the end that proving myself to him like I had to the other guys was something that I would most likely have to do. It didn't go so bad. He didn't yell at me. He didn't seem to hate me. He gave me a warning. I didn't even know what to think of him yet either. Tacoma Killer. Wonder what I would have to do to get him on my side.

Turning away I saw some more hang arounds coming in and I looked at Pretty Boy, "this is going to be hell to clean up tomorrow."

He nodded, "I don't believe I will be accepting anything less."


	9. Chapter 9

**((I know that this chapter is way longer than my normal ones, but I know that my chapters have been pretty short and unfufilled so I thought that I would try and make them longer. This one has more action. Hopefully there won't be any more filler chapters. I hope that you all like it. Tell me what you think :) Do you like short or longer better?))**

**CHAPTER NINE**

I stood outside of the club house, Heck beside me, the other prospects on the other side of him. I folded my arms as Clay gave us our last instructions. All of us were outside. One of our partners and suppliers in gun trading had given us fault weapons and Clay wanted to get them back, and make them pay for what they did.

Clay finished off his explanations before he looked at me and said, "Row I need you to drive around in your jeep, keep surveillance for us. They won't find it suspicious of a woman driving around. Go around first, see what you can spot and then we will make our way in. We'll be waiting a couple of streets down until you give us the okay to make it in."

I nodded and he turned to Heck Pretty Boy, and Eli, "once we get there, you three will keep watch and help load the guns into vehicles. The rest of us are going to hunt down the guys inside."

They nodded as well and saw everyone begin to move. One thing I knew would be easier about this is that it wasn't a club or gang we were taking the guns from, so the retaliation wouldn't hit hard, even if it hit at all. They were nobodies, boys who thought that they could make a living working with us. The bad thing is that it would be hard to immediately recognize someone. I knew most of their faces since I'd gone with the guys to get guns many times. I'm pretty sure I knew them all and I knew their car plates, so at least my job was easier.

Making my way to my jeep, I heard Happy pass me and say, "keep good watch Little Girl."

I didn't say anything. It bothered me, those two words 'Little Girl'. He was trying to undermine me, put a label on me to say I was a child, a little toddler who should be playing dollies and house. It's been a week since he was back and he didn't let up. He stopped calling me Pussy, but I can tell that he liked that I was at his servitude, or at least the one of the club's. He ordered me around to do stuff that I was already doing so that Clay wouldn't need to step in. I'd washed his bike, I'd clean the clubhouse, but that was stuff I had done for the other guys many times before. I was a prospect. I was to do what the members wanted without hesitation. As much as I didn't like it and I knew that he was taking advantage of it, that included Happy.

But I learned that letting his words roll off my back also pissed him off a little. Half the time I would smile and nod. He was trying to get to me. He was trying to find out where my line was, how much I could take. How much he could give. The guys knew what he was doing too. I could tell that some of them didn't agree, but they knew it was Happy's process about judging someone.

So as much as it hurt me to stay silent, if that is what it takes for me to get my patch then I would do it. I wasn't going to give in to what Happy wanted. I still had a month and a half left. I didn't want to change things. I'm in the final stretch now.

I looked over at Happy and saw him get on his bike along with the other guys. I got into the drivers seat of my jeep and I made sure my phone had good battery before I shut my door and turned the key. I heard the jeep come to life and I smiled as I heard the radio come on as well. I heard the others bike's start and the other vehicle Heck, Pretty Boy, and Eli were taking. I looked out my window and watched Clay lead and Jax follow as the bikes all left the clubhouse. I let the boys go first before I followed last. I followed at a good pace, going behind them so that they could still see me, but if people passed, they would think that I might not be with them.

I changed the station to a rock, punk, and alternative station and heard the familiar tune of Run Runaway from Slade. I grinned and turned it up a bit as I followed the guys. I kept a level head as I saw them go the familiar drive, going through main Charming to get to the other side of it. It was one of the more…questionable parts of Charming. Where the poorer families lived or people who had lives surrounding drugs and alcohol. I tried to avoid that part of charming as much as possible unless I was going with the guys to get the guns.

I saw the guys turn on a corner and I knew that I was to keep going straight through. We were about five blocks away from the warehouse. I kept driving foreward, stopping at the stoplights and looking around just to see any trace just in case, but I didn't see anything. When the light was green, I went foreward. Even if the guys at the warehouse knew my face, they didn't know my ride and if they weren't looking for me then they wouldn't see me.

I went straight through the next lights before turning at the third ones. I kept looking around, looking for anything that would suggest they were around and if they were, how many. Looking around, I saw homeless people sitting or wandering the streets. It always made me feel bad. I tried to ignore them as I looked around, watching the streets and looking down them as I passed to see if their cars were there. I went past the warehouse, looking at what was there. I didn't see any cars, and the place looked empty, but I turned the corner and made my way around the block to check the back. Not seeing anything there either except for a couple of rundown cars, I guessed that people were there, just not a high number. I picked up my phone and called Clay as I kept going down the street, trying not to bring attention to myself.

"What do we have?" Clay asked as he picked up.

I turned the music down and I answered him, "saw two cars in the back. Looked like Sam's and Ryan's. so I'm guessing a small number of guys are there just to keep security of the guns. They probably know that we are pissed," I answered as I turned a corner away from the warehouse so that a red jeep looping the house wouldn't look too suspicious.

"Alright. We'll make our way up. Keep going around. Call me if you see anything," Clay told him.

"Will do," I answered and he hung up.

I put the phone on the passenger seat before smoothly driving around the roads, looking for any sign of them. I knew that the guys would take the back way to the warehouse.

I was driving around for about fifteen minutes before I saw a car that I recognized. It was Tucker's. I was on the other side of the road, driving past him and I made sure to look away slightly, but also look into his van. They looked pissed off. There was a guy in the passenger seat, I knew who was Ron and I could see shadows of people in the back seats. I quickly looked in my review mirror and picked up my phone before calling Clay. The instant he picked up, I told him, "Tucker's on his way. He's pissed off and he's got a lot of people with him."

"Shit." Clay said and I turned the last corner of the block and I saw two more vans pass me, each I knew was going to the warehouse. I said over the phone, "Clay there are two more full vans heading your way. They know SAMCRO is there. Get out now. They are going to be packing."

"We can't fine the guns. Guys here aren't telling us shit. They aren't hear. We've only found a small box of glocks," Clay said and I heard him shout to the guys to finish it because they had to leave. I heard gunshots go off and I told Clay, "maybe it's an ambush and they weren't expecting us this soon to figure it out."

I turned the block again and went up the road beside them before Clay asked, "can you stall them?"

Nodding, I told him, "I'll try."

Pulling up next to the first van at the stop lights. I knew that this was going to be an idea, but it would give the guys time. I just had to make sure that no one else got hurt in the process. The instant that I saw the lights go green I moved and made an illegal turn right, cutting them off and scratching their van with my jeep as they started to go foreward. I felt the jolt of the van and I kept going, moving them into the next lane. There were a lot of cars beeping their horns at me, but I kept moving. After the deed was done, I moved quickly down the next road so that I would be able to hit them at the next intersection or to have them follow me.

I looked in the review mirror and saw that one of the vans were following me. The other two must have kept going straight. I made the next turn and saw the intersection. It just turned red on me and I went straight through. I saw that they were the first on the green so again I made them trail off to the side, trying to recover themselves.

The van followed right after me and I saw the other two beginning to follow me now too. I looked behind me. I had to lose them enough for me to check on the guys and make sure that everything was going well. I heard my phone ring and I picked it up, "Clay please bear good news."

"There was a guy outside, he called the others. Cut the tires to the other car. We need you to pick the prospects up," Clay answered.

I looked in the rearview mirror and I said, "I'm kinda busy at the moment I have three vans tailing me."

"Can you lose them?" Clay asked.

I looked back and then looked in front of me, "give me a few minutes to get there."

I hung up before he said anything else and I groaned as I sped through a yellow light, hitting red the instant that I went over the line. I looked behind me and saw that the vans had to stop because there were cars going past. I sped my way through the back streets to get to the warehouse. The instant that Clay saw me, I saw him nod and him and stopped right behind them. I saw Dirty Eli and Pretty Boy quickly run to me with a guy beside them, bound by rope and gagged with a cloth. I didn't question as they opened the door and knocked him out before placing him in the back seats on the ground. I saw them get in and move to the trunk before I looked back, "where's Heck?"

"Clay told him to get the guns that they had." I looked back and saw the vans coming down the road. I honked the horn at Clay and waved my hand to tell him that they were coming and to go. Clay nodded and began to ride off, the other guys following him before I saw Heck come back out with the box in his hands. He threw the guns in first before jumping in himself. I began speeding off, knowing that the van was now going to stop. Pretty helped him get all the way in before shutting the door. Heck got off our captive and I began following the bikes into the real suburbs of Charming and going out of it completely so that they wouldn't hurt civilians had something happen.

I said back to Heck, "you okay?"

"Just fine. What the hell happened to your jeep?" I heard Heck ask as I suddenly heard gunshots and I knew that they were from the vans. I looked in the mirrors and saw the guys out their windows, pointing their guns at us.

What worried me was how big they were. That could kill one of the guys if it hit them. I answered him, "Clay asked me to stall."

I heard another gunshot, this one taking out one of my side mirrors.

"Fucking shit," I swore.

"You have guns back here?" I heard Eli ask.

"Yeah. There should be a brown case back there. I have my rifles and glock." I answered as I looked in my rearview mirror.

As more bullets went off, I realized that the guys were trying to move from them too. I heard Eli ask, "you don't have anything bigger?"

I grit my teeth, "pardon me for not carrying a fucking bazooka in the back of my jeep."

I heard more shots and saw Juice move, knowing that a bullet almost hit him. I began to drive on and off to the sides, trying to cover the guys as much as I could, doing it at different times so that the guns couldn't try and breach a pattern. I created. I heard the guys bring down my back windows and I heard the close gun shots as they began to fire back.

I followed Clay down the roads, turning when he did. I jolted when I heard my back window break and I asked, "anyone hit?"

From the sound of my glass breaking, even some of the guys looked back. I heard Pretty Boy answer, "we're fine. It actually gives us a better way to hit them."

I kept moving left and right, trying to protect the guys from the bullets as I kept feeling them hit my jeep. I looked back at them and asked, "any idea on how to lose them?"

I looked in front of me so that I could see where the guys were going and I heard Heck ask, "I think we're heading to a bridge, try and snag them there."

I looked in front of me and I nodded. If Clay made the left here, as I hoped that he would then I was sure that he would do. I felt another bullet hit my jeep, this time snagging a tire. I heard the pop and when the guys looked back, I could tell that they heard it to.

"For fuck sakes!" I shouted.

I saw Clay make the left and the guys follow. I did the same. We were going to hit that bridge. I was moving a bit slower since I lost a tire, but I stepped on the gas more. Seeing the bridge, I yelled back to them, "I'm going to stop."

And I didn't lie. Once I was at the mouth of the bridge, I slammed on the brakes. I heard the brakes on the van as well but it wasn't enough to stop the jolt. I slammed against my seatbelt again and slammed into the steering wheel. I looked back and saw the other two vans go into the ditch to try and avoid hitting their own.

After the break, seconds later I sped off, the guys already way in front of me, some looking back to make sure that we okay. I was lucky the van didn't get caught on us, but I pressed my foot completely down on the gas and we went foreward.

I could already see the Welcome to Charming sign and within ten seconds of what happened, all of us burst into fits of laughter. I hadn't realized just how hard my heart was pumping until now. The adrenaline was a rush. I loved it. The feeling of relief in the spur of the moment. I knew the danger that there was, but it was such a thrill. I noticed the vans stopped following us and I heard Pretty say, "is anyone else finally breathing?"

I couldn't stop the smile forming on my face. My rub cage hurt and I was finding it hard to breath, but I knew we were on our way to TM. I asked back there, "anyone notice injuries?"

"The stop hit pretty hard, but I'll live." I heard Eli.

"Jesus how could you go that fast with three tires?" I heard Pretty ask and I smiled.

Going through Charming was entertaining. People were looking at the shot out jeep with three tires. I'm pretty sure that the rubber of the tire was gone, so I was scratching the pavement. We were going slower and taking the short cuts to the club house. I asked, "how is our hostage?"

"Still out." Heck replied and I saw the bikes pull into the clubhouse. My weak going jeep went right in it before I stopped. The guys were already off of their wife and I shut off the jeep, knowing that I probably wouldn't be able to turn it back on.

I carefully unhooked my seatbelt. I knew that I would be sore for a bit. I heard the guys get out before me, dragging our hostage before I got out myself. I saw Clay and the other guys walking over to me. The president wrapped his arms around me and chuckle, "who the hell taught you how to drive and can they give me some pointers?"

I smiled and hugged him back. The hug hurt, but I wouldn't say anything. I felt Chibs pat my shoulder and he asked, "you okay?"

"Better than my jeep." I muttered.

Clay chuckled and let me go before looking at my vehicle. I looked at it too. My sad busted jeep.

"Where did the dents come from?" Clay asked.

"You asked me to stall." I answered simply.

He shook his head and looked back at me. The guys had come up to us too and I felt Opie wrap his arm around my shoulders, "shit, girl. I don't think I've ever seen someone drive like that."

I smiled again and Clay looked back at me, "we'll get you another ride. You did really good, Row."

I nodded as a thanks, still trying to control the pain in my chest. I walked with the guys into the clubhouse and I walked past Happy. He was staring at me and I asked him, "did I do well?"

He smirked and shook his head before he walked ahead and I went to get a beer. For the first in a long time, I wanted to go to bed and sleep the rest of the day, but I sat on a couch in the clubhouse, thinking of plans for our hostage.


	10. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER TEN**

I think that I am slowly losing my mind. I still had a lot of my energy and it made me screw up my normal routine a bit, which normally I would be fine with, but the fact that the pain in my chest was there as well, made it worse.

From slamming on the brakes yesterday and slamming on my seatbelt and steering wheel, I had hard bruises on my chest. I couldn't breathe that well now, It hurt to sleep unless I was on my back, which is how I never sleep. So I did not have a good night's rest. I had a pack load of painkillers, but I couldn't take them because I knew that they would only make me drowsy and I still had plenty of work and prospect things to do. The guys were mostly busy with their prisoner, so they weren't really around the shop, which made it a lot easier on me. Walking stiffly and working slower wouldn't go too unnoticed.

Plus it made it easier to have my music player and not have the guys bother me. Listening to my music helped me to spend my mind on different things while working. It would hopefully help me spend energy during the day. I couldn't even think about having my run this morning, that's why my energy wasn't spent. I didn't have my 'me time' and it was making me lose my mind. I left out of my runs before, but I didn't have searing pain in my chest every time I tried to take a small little breath. I couldn't move without feeling pain. And without painkillers, I knew that this was going to be one hell of a day.

I was working on a car, almost finishing it before I would need to work up the paper and bills for it, which I knew would be easier. I could sit on my ass and do that with no problem about feeling pain from working, bending over on my chest in this car. I could scarcely breathe.

It also felt nice to keep the earphones in because it kept me distracted from what I knew the guys were doing to their prisoner. I was wondering if they broke too many bones yet. If he would need a patch up. Things got nasty around here when it meant prisoners, on both ends. I knew that risk coming in, but I didn't like the animalistic features that the club would get. It would hit the atmosphere and that was not what I needed right now. I knew what the club did, how they got business done, and the results of it. At least, for how much I have seen. It has been no one innocent, like a child. I knew the guys wouldn't do that. Not even as a last resort. Their hearts could be mixed, but I couldn't imagine them killing a child. Most of them had families of their own.

But still, I was glad to be away from the atmosphere right now. I knew that they would probably need us prospects to clean up the mess, the blood. Hell maybe even his body.

For right now, at least, I was listening to my music and working. I could get away from that thought in my head. It was a good thing that I wasn't queasy to the sight of blood. I think I've seen more than a doctor has.

I was listening loudly to Wind Him Up by the Sagas, humming to myself as I did so, fixing the engine of the car when I suddenly felt a hand clamp down on my shoulder. I jumped, causing me to bite my tongue so that I didn't groan. I looked over and saw Chibs standing there. I let out a small breath and pulled out my earbuds, moving to shut off the player.

Chibs chuckled and told me, "that's a good song."

Smiling, I nodded, "definitely. Can I help you Chibs?"

He looked at me and let out a sigh before he said, "no easy way to say this, Row, but I need you to pull up your shirt."

I was silent for a couple of seconds, staring at him weirdly as he was standing there, not moving and was silent. After those couple of seconds, I let out a small chuckle. Fuck that hurt.

"Chibs am I going to have to file harassment on an employee?" I asked him, trying to make it a joke.

He shook his head, grinning a bit, "No. It's not for that. I think you cracked a rib on that run yesterday."

I was silent for a couple of moments, bothered about how he didn't move. Jesus did he even breathe? I gulped and tried giving him a weird look, "Why would you think that?"

"Well, you rode a taxi in, makes me think that riding a bike would be too hard on your chest. You are walking differently, there is pain on your face. Even moving around here at TM you have ragged breathing a bit. Bending over a car is not helping your lungs. Also, you are wearing, what I'm guessing is, a bikini top because a normal bra would be too hard for you to breathe and wear with the bruises," Chibs answered.

Well that was stunning.

I stared at him a bit longer, my eyebrow raised, mostly for the last part, and he could tell. He answered me, "it's a different padding, right. A bit noticeable sometimes. Plus some of us were looking because we wanted to make sure that you weren't injured from the stop yesterday."

"I'm really considering this harassment file now." I told him before looking down at my breasts. He was right. My blood red bikini was under that black tanktop. I tried a bra this morning and only had it on for five minutes before I switched to the bikini. Still worked the same really, "like seriously do you all just stare at my boobs so that you can tell what bra I'm wearing."

"It's not like that," Chibs laughed.

"Well you seemed to definitely know the difference," I remarked.

"Lass, I have a wife. So does half of the guys. We know differences in looks without even looking at boobs every day," Chibs answered.

I rolled my eyes and told him, "fine, I'll hold off on the file."

I tried to walk away but he held my arm, "Row, I want to see the damage."

Turning back to him, I answered, "then look at my poor jeep."

He shook his head, "Row if this is serious then it could have lasting effects."

I groaned a little bit in annoyance and he told me, "Rowen Byrne if this is about how you think the guys will see you then you can save your breath. Hell I've seen guys barely get hurt and they cry and cry. You're already taking it like a champ. I can tell from your body language that it hurts."

"I'm. Fine." I told back at him.

"You're not weak for wanting help."

"I don't need it Filip."

Hissing the last words, I wanted him off of it. He didn't understand. _They_ didn't understand. Hell if I really needed the help, I would go to an actual doctor.

"Don't let your pride wound you into stupidity, Rowen," Chibs told me.

I stared at him for a while after that, letting the anger rise up. I tried to hold my tongue. I've been holding that fire inside me about this down for a while. It was such a shame to let it fly out. I gritted my teeth and I asked, "do they need me to start cleaning up now?"

"Rowen listen to me," Chibs tried.

My voice was cold and I told him, "No. You listen to _me_. I'm putting everything I have into this club. You can't see it. You don't know what I have to do. It's different and you never had to think about it. I do. I have the pussy in this club, believe me I know that, so do the others. Just because I have it doesn't mean that I can afford to act like it. You never had to try did you?"

He stared at me now, this time being taken back by my words. I stared him down, daring him to get back what he had. Hell I didn't even let out any of my steam on this topic. This was the beginning. I did well on holding the fire back.

Finally, Chibs let out a sigh, "Rowen, I wish you would understand that we are breathing with you on this. We are not against you. We will not think you weak for coming for help when with us you got injured. The guys have had a lot less and acted like children. Part of this brotherhood, this family, is that you can come to us when you need it and we won't pass judgment. We will help. We are all in this together, Rowen. I wish you would see that."

"Except I'm not apart of the brotherhood. Not yet, and even if I get my patch I won't be a Son. By definition, but not by genitals. I'm a girl. I'm a girl and there is nothing wrong with that."

"We know that."

"Then why do you use it against me."

Those words hit both of us hard and he stared at me before placing his hands in his pockets. I stared him down again, I wanted to know what he had for this. How he would try and comfort me, or twist my words, or at least put his own say in it. Finally, he said, "we've been hard on you. We get it."

"Do you?"

"Let me fucking talk. We realize that. We know you work hard and we've been trying to reward you. Let you come to us when you need it, like now. You are already one of us Row. You are the only one who doesn't see it because you want to keep running hard until the end. That's your way. But the only thing that is going to keep you from getting that patch is because you don't understand our family. You don't understand when it's okay to slow down on that run when you need it. There is no judgment here. This family is one where we know everything about each other, where we can go to each other and drink and laugh and even sob and we are still there for each other no less than before."

Honestly, I didn't know what to say to that. I really didn't.

"Rowen if you walked in there crying, blue in the face because you couldn't breathe, we would all help you. We would not put that as a weakness. Everyone needs help. We are supports for each other. I've seen Tig cry his eyes out before, I've had to hold Bobby when he got shot because he was crying and we didn't know if he would live the night. Clay was there for me when I busted up my ankle so much that I couldn't stop my tears," Chibs told me.

I let that sink in, looking down. I could barely look him in the eye. He let go of my arm and he sighed, "Rowen, we are not your enemy. We know that you struggle. We know that when you get that patch, you earned it. But don't let that idea think that you can't come to us for help. Because that's what a family does."

I bit my lip, shaking my head a bit, taking in deeper breaths, "you still don't understand everything."

"I know that. And I probably never will. But we'll understand if once in a while you need someone to lean on. We're a family. It's what we do."

Both of us were silent for a long time before I sighed, holding back my tears. God no, I could not cry right now.

"I'm not weak," I whispered at last.

He came over to me and kissed my forehead and he told me, "I know. I really do. If you want, go back to running for that patch, but let us fix this first. You don't need to be made of steel all the time."

I looked back at him and I gulped before moving back from him. I stared at him for a bit more, trying to think of Heck falling on the wet floor and us laughing so that I wouldn't cry. Chibs looked at me, waiting. He knew how to get pep talks and I knew that I might regret it later on, but I took off my patch and I slowly took off my shirt.

"Shit, Row," he whispered as he looked over the damage that I knew was bad.

I looked away and he told me, "Row, this is serious. I think you broke at least two ribs. You can see the imprint of the seatbelt and steering wheel. How the hell are you even walking or not passed out from the pain?"

I tried to make a joke, "a lot of painkillers."

He let out a small laugh before shaking his head, "do you feel comfortable doing this in the clubhouse?"

I let out a sigh before I nodded, "I might regret it, but yeah. Please stop them from…coddling me." Might as well have everyone on the same page. Chibs nodded in agreement to my request.

But I also knew, deep down, I needed that support.

I just kept on the bikini top as Chibs and I went into the clubhouse. I knew that interrogation was done. Now they all needed booze. I could hear them from outside. Chibs went inside first and he said, "Bobby I need you to get out the bandages." I walked in after him and instantly felt more embarrassed and ashamed then I have in a long time as everyone looked over my bruise. I looked down a bit submissively and I heard Bobby say, "Right away."

Hearing movement, I guessed that it was him going to get First Aid. Chibs led me to the couch and slowly settled onto it, laying on my back. I looked around. Almost everyone was here besides my fellow prospects, Juice, and Happy. Chibs brought up a chair and he asked, "do you need anything before we start?"

"A bottle of vodka would be peachy." I answered.

He grinned and nodded, looking at Tig as he went to get it. I let out a long sigh, trying to relax. I didn't like them looking at me like this, feeling sorry for me. I almost wanted to sit up and tell Chibs that I would go to a hospital, but I knew that he wouldn't let me leave this couch until he was done.

I took that bottle of vodka and took a large gulp.

I was back to running by the next couple of days.

**((I know that this chapter isn't action filled like the last one, but I thought it was important for you all to see the mentality that Rowen has and the relationship that her and Chibs (at least in this chapter) share a bit more. I'm hoping that in the upcoming chapters that it will show each relationship that Rowen has with the guys. Please tell me what you think. In the next chapter there will be more action (if nothing else decides to pop up in my mind).))**


	11. Chapter 11

**CHAPTER ELEVEN**

Clay let me have the next day off from working on the cars since he knew it would damage my ribcage more to bend over so much over a car. And at the request of the guys, and some arm pulling from Tig and Chibs, they got me to stay the night at the clubhouse since I couldn't take a bike back and a taxi cost money. Chibs also tried to say that if something went wrong that I would be at easy care for the night. And I had to admit, sleeping in that bed instead of the couch would help my ribs and chest to feel better.

I didn't like being away from my dogs though. Heck said that he would check on the dogs, feed them, and let them outside to pee. I gave him the instructions to carry down Buddy. I knew that they needed to be outside more, but I thought that I would be able to make it back tomorrow in decent time and they could spend that time outside and running around while I cuddled with Buddy. Although, I knew that I would need someone to stay over to carry Buddy down and Heck offered to do so. He called me last night when he was done and he said that everything went well so that helped me to relax. I still missed my Buddy and babies though.

In the morning, the guys let me sleep in. I wasn't as sore, but I had a tiny headache from all the Vodka I drank when Chibs was working on me. I had two broken ribs, one cracked a bit so you can imagine the damage done to try and fix me.

I had a shower and groaned a bit getting into my clothes from yesterday, but I did it anyway. I brushed my hair and I walked out, my hair already dried up a bit. I noticed that some of the guys were out and I was surprised, but the prospects were here with me. I saw Gemma at the table, talking with Dirty Eli when she noticed me. She gave me a smile and told me, "hey, baby. I was surprised you slept that long. The last time I saw you wake up it was at the crack of dawn."

Giving her a small smile, I sat down at the table as well, "I am too actually."

"Sleep heals, it's good that you got all that sleep. Probably helped you to feel better too," Gemma answered.

Nodding, I answered, "yeah. My head is a bit more cleared. I feel overly rested, too tired now."

She grinned and then asked, "are you hungry? I can make something. Eggs, toast? You should eat."

I gave her a smile, "eggs and toast would be great, Gemma. Thank you."

She nodded and she looked me over, curling a piece of my hair on her finger and placing it behind my ear. She told me seriously, "I'm glad that you are okay. Don't ever do something like that again. I mean it."

"I'm sorry." I told her honestly. It was hard to admit, but I was thankful. I was already feeling better. I still don't know how I feel about letting my guard down on the guys, but they seemed understanding and concerned. The damages that I had were worse than what they and I thought.

She walked out and I turned to Dirty Eli, "how are things here?"

He shrugged, "prisoner is still here. It was hard, but this morning he said he would talk. That's where the guys are now. The guys aren't telling us much, but enough that they made a deal with another club to get back at us."

"Shit," I grumbled.

"I don't think he will last long around here, but I don't know if they will use him still," Dirty Eli told me.

Nodding again, I asked him, "did you guys have to clean up yesterday?"

He shook his head, "no, they thought that the guy should sit in his own mess. And then the guys got preoccupied with you so we kind of winded down afterwards. The guy was screaming, but he lived through the night. I can't promise what today will bring though. The guys might go a bit easier on him if he is talking though."

"He hasn't been asked about? Nothing in the media?" I asked trying to get the most informed that I could get.

Dirty Eli shook his head to that too, "we've been paying attention to the radio and tv. Nothing media wise and the guys haven't been asking for him back either. Probably don't know what to do and are talking with the other club that they now sided with."

"Those guys must have made quite a deal. No one just backs off of the Sons of Anarchy like did, especially if they live in the same town."

"Their half-brains. Had to be something special. Probably had been spying on us for a while to get information, now the alliance just came out. They thought that they were prepared, but we came earlier than expected."

"Idiots."

I heard the door open and I saw the guys come out, blood on Happy's hands and I knew the guy got a beating. The others looked over and I asked, "how much did he talk?"

"He wouldn't say what group, but Happy made him spit out enough information that we think it's the Niners," Clay answered as he went to get a drink.

"Joyful," I said sarcastically.

Chibs grinned, "I can see that you are feeling better."

I shrugged and Clay told us, "you can start cleaning up that mess. We have some information to look over. We don't want to start pointing fingers that we know could be false."

"He still alive then?" Heck asked.

"Just about," Happy grumbled as he took a drink of something, a type of beer but his hand was so big that it covered the label.

We nodded and all four of us prospects got up but Tig put his hand on my shoulder, "Row you have your ribs to think about."

"I can mop can't I?" I asked.

He shook his head, "better to be safe than sorry."

I groaned in annoyance and saw the other three guys go to get their supplies. I told Tig as I sat down again, "I can't sit on my ass all day."

"Why can't you? It's easy." Bobby said, sitting on a chair himself.

"I'll go mad. I need activity, dynamic in my day," I answered as I sat down at the table again, "you guys seriously just take the fun out of everything. Can't I clean anything? Do anything?"

I looked at Clay and he looked around and shrugged, "I guess you can count the booze, make the orders, clean the glasses and stuff."

I smiled, "good enough for me."

Clay took his beer and said, "We need to have Church. Think you can handle things?"

I nodded, "I'm just cleaning dirty dishes I think I can handle that."

They grinned, nodding before going towards the Chapel. I saw them drop their phones in the basket before going in and shutting the door. I went behind the bar and I could hear the guys talking to the prisoner, though it was lowly because the door was closed.

I took out a paper and made inventory, going through what we had. After prospecting for so long I knew at the back of my hand what we were supposed to have, how much of it, what the guys liked, extra things to keep in mind for in case the guys wanted something new, all that fun stuff.

I was also looking over the glasses, seeing if we needed more of those too. Sometimes the guys would break them or they would mysteriously disappear. Once in a while new ones would have to be bought.

It had been about twenty minutes before I heard some loud bangs, like people falling to a floor and something heavy along with it. I heard Pretty call out, "ROW!"

My attention was quickly caught and I looked up to see our prisoner, all bruised and bloody, trying to make a run for it in our clubhouse. His hands were free and he was limping a bit but I knew he was going for that exit the fastest that he could go. He was determined, but the guys still needed him for information.

I quickly looked back at the doorway to see the damage and if I would have to do this alone. I saw Dirty Eli bent over against the door, the other guys on the ground.

This was all me.

Oh shit.

I immediately looked back at the escaping prisoner and I reacted on instinct. I picked up one of the largest glass mugs in the bar and I threw it as hard as I could at him. It hit him in the head and he stumbled to the ground. I jogged to him even though I knew it would hurt like hell (and it did, for the love of God it did) and leaned over him and flipped him over. By now the guys were opening the door from the Chapel to see what all the commotion was. I slugged the guy as hard as I could and he let out a cry of pain, "you fucking cunt!"

Just for that I punched him hard again.

The guys came up to us quickly and I began to get up. Once I stood up I looked at down at the prisoner who was now being tightly held by Happy and Tig. Chibs asked me, "you okay lass?"

I nodded and told him, looking over at my fellow prospects, "ask them though."

Chibs looked over at the boys and him and Bobby went over to tend to them. I watched Happy punch him and hard in the ribs and he cried out again, "smart ass aren't you?"

I watched Tig and Happy walk him back into the closeted room. Opie looked at me and he asked me, a bit of surprise in his voice, "did you run to get him?"

"Yeah," I answered as I placed my hands on my hips, "but I knocked him in the head with that mug first."

He grinned and told me as Jax walked over to us well. Opie commented to me, "I bet you that hurt like a bitch."

I gave him a sly smile and nodded, "yep." I knew I would have to have Chibs look at my ribs again. I could feel the burning ache. I told him, "maybe even two." I sighed and walked a bit stiffly to the bar. The guys knew I was in pain and hit hard already, no point in trying to hide it completely.

"What are you doing? Take a bit of a break you just ran on two broken ribs," Opie told me.

I looked back up at him and I took out a bottle of Brandy and a cup at the same time and placed it on the counter, "I am. Just want some liquor for it."

The guys grinned and I heard the prisoner yell and I looked towards him as Happy and Tig tied him tightly to the chair, "you stupid cunt! I'm going to make sure that you get hell when I get out of here!"

I yelled back to him, "you call me that again I'm going to kick you so hard in your balls and cock that your going to have one yourself."

I saw Jax snicker, trying to hold in his laughter and I heard Tig warn him, "and she'll do it too." That made me grin and I took a large gulp of my Brandy as I held my chest a bit, trying to give it comfort. God I hope that I felt good soon.

I watched Heck, Dirty Eli, and Pretty Boy walk to the couches to get checked out. I saw that Heck was bleeding and I asked him, alarmed, "Jesus Heck what did he stab you with?!"

He sat down and answered, "the thing you pull on the spray bottle. It was sharp enough. He must've gotten his arms untied somehow."

"You're going to be okay, right?" I asked.

"He'll be fine. It's not in that deep, clean cut," Chibs answered, "how are you, saw you running."

"Yeah don't remind me," I groaned a bit taking another gulp of Brandy and I admitted to him, "I think you might want to look it over again."

He nodded and said, "sounds good. I'll do if after I'm done taking care of these guys."

I nodded back to him and went to sit at the free couch, sitting slowly and Clay came back to look at us, "we're going to have to keep an eye on him, tie him tighter. Even break his legs if we have to. We can't be losing him."

We all nodded and Clay looked at me, "you okay Rowen?"

"I'll be fine. What matters is that we still have this guy," I answered.

Clay gave me a smile, "good job, Rowen." I gave him a smile back and took another drink, "thank you. And thank you for supplying Brandy."

Opie grinned and sat beside me. I looked at Heck and said, "you don't have to come home with me now. There is no way you can carry my dog down those steps with a wound like that."

"Well you can't do it," Heck said back, wincing a bit at some disinfectant that Chibs put on his still bleeding wound.

"I'll figure out a way to get Buddy down the steps. It's fine," I answered.

"Buddy?" Opie asked.

"My eldest dog. He has a lot of trouble going up and down stairs," I informed everyone.

"I can do it," Opie told me.

"Opie you have Donna to go back to."

"It shouldn't take long."

"No but I need someone to do it tonight before I go to bed too."

"I'll make the trip back."

I stared at him for a moment and shrugged, "fine. Let's blow the coop once Chibs looks me over again.

The trip would be fine, but still, thank God for Brandy.


	12. Chapter 12

**CHAPTER TWELVE**

Opie dropped me off at my house and he walked up the steps with me. I heard my dogs barking and saw them in the windows. Opie walked beside me, looking at them as well before asking, "all of them yours?"

I nodded and answered him, "yep. All four. Buddy is in the living room I think."

He nodded and I took out my lanyard of keys and unlocked the door. Opie stared at my college lanyard and chuckled, "you still have yours? I lost mine years ago."

"Jesus I would die if I lost this. My entire life is on this thing. Has been since the first day on Frosh Week and they gave us one of these in our free start up packs," I answered as I opened the door. Immediately my dogs were at my feet, pawing at my legs excitedly, glad that I was home. I smiled down at them and leaned over the best that I could to pet them. After our greeting, I told them, "Go! Go pee!"

Listening, the three dogs went down the steps and they ran to the front of my yard, going away from each other to do their business. Opie watched them as well and I stood up straight and leaned against my doorway. Opie asked me, "what are their names?"

"The Australian Shepard is Molly, the Dalmatian is Sarah, and the German Shepard is Boomer," I answered.

Looking inside, I saw Buddy make his way to the door for me. I smiled widely and told him, "hey big guy! It's good to see you again."

He walked a bit faster and I patted him, giving him a smile. I looked back up at Opie and told him, "this is Buddy, Opie."

I could tell that Opie was surprised to see that the dog actually was this old. I kept stroking Buddy's head and Opie asked me, "how old is he?"

"Old. He can take stairs, but it's hard on his legs." I answered, "got him as a graduation present from my dad. For going into high school."

"Wow, he is old then." Opie joked.

"Meanie." I said back to him, a smile on my face though.

Opie looked down at the dog, Buddy looking back at him carefully as if to make sure that he wasn't a threat to me. Opie told me while looking at Buddy, "well, I think that I can move him up and down. You aren't going to be one to be one hundred pounds but you look skinny as a bone do you?"

I smiled again and Opie leaned down to pick him up carefully, not to scare or startle the dog. I petted Buddy the entire time and then watched as Opie gently walked down the stairs and to the ground. I told him, "just put him on the ground again. He'll be able to walk around."

Opie nodded and carefully set my baby on the ground. I looked inside and saw that the phone light was beeping, meaning that I had a message. I groaned again, a little bit too loudly. Opie looked back at me and asked, "you okay?"

I nodded and told him, "yeah, I just think my mom or siblings called. I don't feel like getting yelled at right now."

He walked back up to me and I moved to sit down on my bench and he sat on the chair on my porch. He asked, "why would they yell at you?"

"It's a long story," I sighed.

"I've got time," Opie answered.

"You should be getting back to Donna. That girl loves you to bits," I told him.

"So do I, but she can handle being away from me for a couple of minutes. She likes you too, wouldn't mind if I was helping a friend," Opie answered.

I stared at him a bit more. The club was different from the guys. Going in front of the club as a whole was hard. Individually though, and especially to Opie and Jax, it was easier. These guys were my level. I knew I could be with them myself and talk with them. Maybe it was because they were my age, or at least closer to it, and that they were always nice to me from the start that I started working at TM.

I admitted to him, "I'm just in a shitty, dramatic situation…well situations right now."

Opie asked after a couple of moments, "want to tell me what happened?"

I rolled my eyes, "well I got a good talking down to from Chibs yesterday. My chest hurts like a fucking bitch and my mom is pissed at me. Not to mention that I have to keep kissing Happy's ass and he still might not patch me in."

"Well, let's start off with the stuff that I don't know. Why is your mom pissed?" Opie asked.

I sighed, "my dad's death anniversary is coming up. Every year my mom tries to do a service at the local church, or local where she is. I hate going to them." I answered simply, going out to look at my dogs, seeing them lay around in the sun already.

"You don't go to them then?" Opie asked.

"I try not to. My mom literally almost sobs herself to death. I mean it too. I can't stand going to those anymore. I left them when I was in college as an excuse and I've almost never went back to those. If my mother wants to keep torturing herself then fine, I just don't see why my siblings and I need to see it and make sure that she lives the night," I answered.

Opie nodded sympathetically, staying silent for a bit before he said, "I'm guessing the death was pretty hard, unexpected."

I've never talked to any of the guys about my dad before. They knew he died and knew that I was close to him. It was a hard subject.

But Opie was a brother to me, one without the kutte.

"It was a car accident. One of those literal freak ones. A spreading car went through a stop sign, my dad's truck actually broke apart from flipping over," I answered quietly.

Both of us were silent for one more minute before I whispered again, "my mom sometimes blames me. I don't know if she says it out of anger, but they say that what you say out of anger is just how you actually feel inside, it just comes out in an uncivilized way."

Opie was silent, letting me take the lead so that I could tell him as much or as little as I wanted. I answered again, blinking away tears, "he was out because my friends and I decided to stay past curfew, but we didn't have a ride home. We were just walking downtown. My family lived out in the country. My dad went out to look for me, drive around just to make sure that I was alright. Truth was that my phone died, two of my friends didn't have phones, and my other friend's phone had also died. That's why none of us picked up."

I was silent for a bit more, "we made it to Lizzie's house, she lived in town and we called home. I was prepared for getting yelled at. I knew I deserved it. I wasn't prepared for two hours later the police came to my house and told my mom that my dad was dead."

I wiped my eyes quickly and Opie told me, "it's not your fault."

"My dad was out looking for me because I was an idiot and didn't come home when I was supposed to," I answered.

"It's not your fault. It's that driver's fault. He went through that red stop light. It sounds like he was driving way way way past the speed limit," Opie told me.

I shook my head and Opie said, "your mom shouldn't blame you either. I don't blame you for not wanting to see her. I wouldn't either."

"The last time she talked she invited me to come this year, as she does every year. Shit hit the fan when I said I might not be able to go. It's a long drive home, I didn't know I was working… I made excuses. The same as every year and my mom got angry. Said I probably hated going because I felt guilty."

"Shit hit the fan," Opie agreed.

I nodded and he told me, "sometimes people can't make peace. It's not fair to you, or your siblings that they have to deal with her like that, but it is what it is. You shouldn't be forced to deal with it."

I gave him a small smile, "thanks Opie."

He nodded, "let it pass. Who knows, maybe your mom called to apologize."

"Perhaps." I replied.

I looked back at Opie before he gave him a smile. I let out another breath. It felt good to get that off my chest. My shoulders already lifted a little.

Hearing Opie say something, I paid full attention to him again, "and Chibs talked to you because we were all worried. We didn't think you would listen to him."

"To be honest I wasn't listening to him," I admitted.

"Which gets on all of our nerves. You were seriously hurt. We wanted to help you. It's what we do for each other."

"Yeah I get that now. Promise."

Opie sighed with relief before he told me, "and by the way, Happy likes you."

I raised one eyebrow, "yeah right."

"No, he likes you. He doesn't show it. He wants to test you, see what all you can do, but he likes you."

"Stop lying to make me feel better."

"I'm not lying."

I tried to change the subject quickly and it was obvious and bad but I said, "and Gemma never gave me those eggs that she promised me."

He wanted to say something else but his phone went off. A couple of seconds later, mine did too. We stared at each other, knowing that it meant something went down with the club. Opie picked up his phone and I let my ring. He said, "yeah? Row's with me too."

He was silent for a moment and I recognized Piney's voice over the phone. I couldn't hear what he said specifically though. He looked at me and I could tell it was bad news by the worry and shock in his eyes.

"What is it?" I demanded.

I could see it in his eyes.

Someone died.

"Oh God who was it?" I asked.

He looked at me again and he told Piney, "yeah…yeah we will be right up."

"Who is it!" I demanded.

He looked back at me and answered, "Jonah was shot. Retaliation."

**((Happy holidays to all of my followers, whether it be Christmas, Hanukkah (though I know that it ended today but I hope you had a great holiday), Kwanzaa, or anything else. I hope you are having a good time. As a present to you, I gave you two chapters, left one with a cliffhanger and gave some more information about Row and what she thinks, how she works even hurt. Please tell me what you think.))**


	13. Chapter 13

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN**

Opie drove us to the hospital where Jonah was now. He told me that the club drove him to the hospital when Chibs realized that the shots and injuries were too life threatening. When the doctors took Jonah away, Juice had called Ashley to let her know so she could be here and Kozik was calling his parents. The club members had forgot to call us for a little bit, the one mind track they had was focused on Jonah and getting his family here. It wasn't until a bit after when Piney remembered us and called Opie.

When we got to the hospital, I didn't care about my injuries and how I hurt, I went down from the truck and I walked quickly into the hospital, Opie trying to stay at my heels. I saw the bikes and the guys other pick-up here and I knew that they would be in the waiting room still since none of them were outside smoking. It was about ten minutes after the call that we got there by the time I got my dogs back inside and checked my phone to see who called just so the message wouldn't' delete itself. When I saw it was my mom and eldest sister, I left the phone alone and went to the truck with Opie and we hurried back into Charming.

Making it in the front doors, I looked around and immediately saw Ashley, standing alone and pacing, the guys sitting down in chairs, talking with each other. When Ashley saw me, she walked to me and I opened my arms and held her to me tightly. She was still crying and though her so close hurt my ribs, I held her close and she held me close as well.

"I just heard Ashley. My God." I whispered to her.

She just sniffed and I looked at the clock. This happened about forty minutes ago. Jonah was shot forty minutes ago and Ashley had probably came here half an hour ago looking for Jonah to make sure that he was okay. I knew she wasn't too close with people in the club. She liked them, but she didn't know them too well. Ashley and I knew each other well, we hung out on our own, hung out with the other prospects since Jonah was so close to them and did a lot of things with them specifically.

She sniffled a bit more and I rubbed her back a bit.

"I always had an idea that this was something that could have happened. He warned me that this might happen, but I always thought that he was strong. I didn't think I would have to worry too much until he was patched in," Ashley whispered to me.

I sighed and whispered to her, "he knew the risk, he did it for the club."

"I know. And I know that this is how he wanted to go. He loved the club. He talked about you guys all the time," Ashley whispered.

I felt my eyes becoming glossy and I tried to think of something else. Ashley needed me.

"He talked about us?" I asked.

"All the time. He'd explain the funny things you guys said to each other, how much he loved you guys," she answered, "you are his family so much more than his real one. I knew Jonah three years before he went to the club and met you guys and I've never seen him so happy."

She let go of me and moved back. I looked at her and wiped my eyes a bit, the tears slowly began to fall.

"Can we go outside?" she asks.

I look over at the guys. I catch Clay's eyes and he looks towards Ashley. I gestured my head while looking at her and taking her arm that we were going to head outside and if it was okay that I do so in case the club may need me to talk with what they were going to do now. He nods though and I give him a small smile of a thank you before turning to Ashley and wrapping my arm around her shoulder, "yeah, come on. There is a bench out there I think."

She walks with me as we move out of the hospital doors and into the bright sunny day. I walk her to a bench and get her to sit before I sit down beside her. We are both silent for a little bit, watching cars pass the birds fly. Time was just passing as though nothing had happened. It made me feel weird. It wasn't like this with my dad. I felt like I couldn't breathe, but I guess it was because of the atmosphere of my house, my mother's horrid sobs, my youngest brother in his crib who didn't even register any saying because he was so small scream and cry. Out here, it was different.

"I don't even feel a difference to be honest. How horrible is that?" I ask her, "I just feel this pit in my stomach."

"You didn't see him, what happened…James told me that you had just left with Opie. That you just missed getting shot yourself." Ashley answered.

I shook my head, "it's insane…so fucking insane."

She nodded and I suddenly got something back in my head. I asked her, "what do you mean, that we were more his family?"

She looked at me and took my hand and let out a small smile while with her other hand she wiped the tears from her cheeks. She let out a small breath and answered me, "he loved you guys. His family…his family never supported him. Wanted him to be a lawyer or a doctor instead of a mechanic. But it's not him. He's a guy who likes working on things, putting them apart and together with his two hands. You guys gave him more support than he ever felt before. You were more than his friends. I knew that he was ready to die for you guys and told me that he hoped he wouldn't go any other way than for the club or for its members."

Fuck Rowen don't cry.

"He meant a lot to us too." I answered him.

She smiled, "I know. I remember coming to parties with you guys, going to TM, or just seeing you around Charming."

She let out a small breath and she whispered, "do you know that he had depression?"

I stared at her, "Jonah?"

She nodded. I never would have thought. I knew Jonah a bit before he prospected, was a hang around, one of the ones that I actually liked and talked to. And when Clay was looking for another mechanic, his business getting a bit more popular, Jonah asked and Clay hired him. He never seemed perfect when I first met him. I saw him grow into the club, as I'm sure that the club members did to me, but he never seemed that upset.

"No. God…no." I answered.

"Like I said, you guys were his world. I don't know whether it was the friendships, how you guys are made to be like a brotherhood…but it worked. It worked full miracles for Jonah. He got better every day when he was with you guys. You brought him to life," Ashley told me.

I let out a small haggard breath and wiped my eyes again. I looked away and after a couple more seconds, I asked her, "you should tell the guys in there too. I know it would mean a lot to them to hear that as well."

In the corner of my eye, I saw Ashley shake her head and she answered, "I'm just not ready to face a crowd yet. Or even any of them…I guess that it is just easier for me to talk to a girl right now."

Nodding, I looked out and moved to my bag and I took out my cigarettes and lighter. Putting a cigarette between my teeth, I lit it and I heard Ashley ask, "…can I have one?"

Turning my head, I looked at her oddly, "I thought that you didn't smoke." Or at least I never saw Ashley with cigarettes, whether around town or with the guys at the clubhouse.

She shrugged, "I heard that it calms nerves."

"I don't know, Ash. I don't think you should start bad habits."

"You smoke."

"I'm a bad girl. And I don't smoke that much, only when I need to."

"Like now."

I blew out the breath and I answered in a small voice, "yeah."

Turning to stare at her again, I took out my cigarettes again and I handed her one. I took out my lighter and told her to lean over as I lit it. She coughed a bit and I laughed and she smiled as well, which I was glad for. She needed to smile right now. She took it out of her mouth and let out the air and I said, "you get used to it."

She nodded and looks back at the hospital. I ask her, "are his parents coming?"

"Kozik says that they are. They might have disliked Jonah about his choice of life, but they loved him. He knew that, he just hated how he wasn't their perfect son," Ashley muttered.

"What went down with them?" I asked her, "Jonah never told me."

She sighed and let out another breath of air and took out the cigarette, holding it in her fingers. She answered me, "Jonah and I met in high school. He had some deep seeded things. Just unhappy a lot. I think that it was how he was born. His mood was always low, but he went to higher moods a lot when he was with his friends and me and with school, especially certain teachers. He was the only son in the family and his parents owned a law office for eighty years. He was born to have it. But like I said before, Jonah wasn't into that. They pushed him forever. When he finally got accepted to a college in another state I was there to support him when he told his parents. They did everything but disown them. We packed those two weeks. I was going with him, keep him that support. I remember him asking one thing a day before we left. His parents hadn't really spoken to him, kind of wished him good luck, but nothing major. His question broke my heart. He looked at me as we were falling asleep and he looked like he was almost in tears and he asked me, 'they still love me, don't they Ash?'"

I listened intently, taking in drags as I did. I knew what having unsupportive parents was like. My mother practically had a heart attack when I told her I was with the Sons of Anarchy. She was silent afterwards and I told her, "that's rough."

"He never really liked to talk about it. He spoke to his parents from time to time, always saw them on holidays, talked to them on their birthdays, it was just more distant." Ashley answered.

"And now they are coming to see their son." I sighed.

Ashley frowned, "yeah."

We were silent for another moment. The tears were gone. I was trying not to have them. I always hated bad feelings like this. Jonah's death sat in the pit of my stomach like a rock. I felt slightly lightheaded, but at least I didn't feel nauseated. Ashley still had a couple of drops go down her cheeks from time to time. I knew that this was going to be hard for her. I always saw her and Jonah getting married. They worked so well for each other. I didn't want to break her heart and tell her that I overheard him once talking with James about how if he couldn't propose until he found the perfect ring. He wanted to marry her. Or at least that is what it seemed.

What hurt was that I know that they would have made it. Jonah would have made it work with Ashley and the club. I knew that. He loved her and cherished her and he wanted to marry her.

It made me mad almost. Out of all of us, Jonah was the most loving. He was gentle and kind, but assertive. He was a brother, in the sense of family and club. He was the guy who you could just cuddle with on a couch even if you weren't that good of friends and he would welcome you with open arms. God I was going to miss smiling with him, him comforting me that even though I never believed him, he believed in me that I got my patch. I'd miss smiling at him in the morning, that on some days when we had a rough night cleaning up or something went down he would go out early in the morning and buy us our beverage order and our favourite type of muffin. That hadn't happened for a while, almost a month ago, but he just shrugged it off. I knew I was going to miss hearing that laugh as we made jokes at each other too.

Dammit, Rowen. Remember, no tears.

I bit my lip to keep from crying, though my chin was starting to tremble a bit.

"He's really dead isn't he?" I asked a bit, trying to keep my voice even.

Ashley shook her head and she wiped her eyes. She took out the cigarette and she answered, "No…he's brain dead."

For some strange reason when she shook her head, I thought it meant that he was going to be okay. I was going to laugh, probably even cry and weep of joy. I don't know why I would even suspect it. It was stupid of me. And I don't know why my heart sank even more at the news. He was technically still dead.

"Shit, Ash." I whispered.

"Something went wrong…not enough oxygen and blood went to his brain…" she sighed, "that's all that I could make out about what the doctor was trying to tell me."

Moving a hand through my hair, I looked around trying to focus on something else, but it didn't work. How was time moving now? I didn't understand it. Didn't the world have to stop for me? For Jonah? Someone just lost their life. I asked my friend, still looking at the road, "you want to pull the plug?"

In the corner of my eye, I saw her nod, "Yeah. It's what he would have wanted. We talked about it before. Said to not waste my money and pain. Now I just have to convince his parents the same."

I nodded and heard someone walking to us. I turned my head and saw Happy there. I definitely did not want to deal with this right now, deal with him, but I knew he would have come out from the club. He looked at Ashley first and he told her, "I'm really sorry about Jonah. I only knew him for a short time, but he was a really good guy."

Ashley gave him a weak smile and whispered, "thank you."

Happy looked at her a bit longer before turning to me. I was in the process of stepping on my cigarette bud because I knew what he was going to tell me: "the club wants to brief you on what we talked about."

I nodded and looked at Ashley and asked her, "do you want me to tell them?"

Ashley looked back at me, knowing what I was talking about. She nodded and told me, "it would really help." I knew that it would be hard for her to face the group right now. I gave her a soft smile and rubbed her shoulder, "you call me if you need to, alright? I mean it."

She nodded and said, "I know. Thanks Row."

I gave her shoulder one last rub before I got up off the bench and moved with Happy as we went to the hospital. I hoped that any sign that I was in tears was gone. Going inside, I saw the guys standing now. They looked at me when I came in and I stood in front of them, Happy beside me.

"How is she?" Clay asked.

"She'll hang on, she's just hurting right now." I answered.

He nodded and said, "we're going into full lockdown. It's the safest thing to do. We're going to talk, see what they want. Gemma is already rounding up people to stay, getting the rooms ready."

I nodded, folding my arms across my chest as if it would give me balance. I told them, "she wanted me to tell you that he's brain dead."

A couple of the guy's eyes softened. Apparently they didn't know for sure if he died, they just suspected it. I guessed that they were holding on a little bit of hope too. But we all needed to get it through our heads. Jonah was gone.

"I'll stay here with Ashley, help protect her. She's waiting for his parents to come. When it's done I'll get her to drive me to her house and we'll pack up some things before we both go back to the clubhouse." I answered.

Clay nodded in agreement, "sounds good. Piney, Eli, and James are going to stay at the clubhouse. The rest of us are going to figure out who is behind this. If it's the Mayans…" I knew that he wouldn't have to say it. The club just got out of a war with them. And just off fresh from the wound. Only about six months before I prospected and it hung in the air. I wasn't there, but I was working right when it ended, that's why Clay needed another mechanic. Club shit was over. If things bounced back up, I knew it was going to be hard. I knew there were a good amount of death on both sides. And I knew that the guys wouldn't be able to take it again.

"How's our hostage?" I asked.

"Alive. Going to keep him talking. Use him as leverage." Clay answered.

"They thought we killed him." I commented.

"We think so." Clay answered.

"We're going to get to the bottom of this. You be here for Ashley. She needs you right now." Chibs told me.

Nodding in agreement I said my goodbyes to them as they began to leave. I saw Heck at last. He put on a coat from his truck, but I saw it. His shirt was full of blood. He had been holding Jonah to try and stop the bleeding. Probably held him as the guys rushed him to the hospital. He stayed back at the back with Eli and we hugged each other, together mourning the loss of what was supposed to be the four of us becoming members in the next few months.

Now there were three.


	14. Chapter 14

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN**

I was at the hospital for six more hours. Almost seven truthfully. I was there, holding Ashley as we cried and watched the doctor's pull apart the tubes that was forcing him to breathe. I couldn't close my eyes. I had to face this, watch him. Jonah's parents came and I let them and Ashley discuss things alone. They needed to make the decision themselves. They were his family and it was only fair to them that they make it themselves.

It hurt watching him though. Ashley was right, it didn't hit me until I saw him. It wasn't even Jonah and I knew that. It was a lifeless form off his body, breathing only from a machine.

Taking Ashley to the clubhouse was easy. She didn't want to be alone in that house because of how Jonah's things were scattered everywhere. So I went in for her and packed her a bag of clothes and toiletries and I told her that she could share the room that I usually used with me so that she wouldn't be alone tonight.

After packing a small suitcase of things for her, I went back to her truck and noticed that she was sleeping already. It was a little late. It was dark already and I wondered if the guys were back yet. As I was driving back to the clubhouse, I called my neighbor and asked her if she could let my dogs out. She was a nice lady, had four kids who loved my dogs so it was easy for her to say yes. And with the dogs being with the little kids, they got a bit of a work out and attention time. I hated them being alone for so long. I've been doing it a lot lately and I felt bad, but I don't know how Clay would like having four extra dogs going around. I knew that the club house would be full of the members and the Old Ladies. And even some kids if the guys got their spawns to come with them.

Going into the clubhouse, I looked over at Ashley and saw her still sleeping, a deep frown on her face. I looked in her review mirror and saw that my eyes were red from so much crying. I had dark circles under my eyes as well. The day took it's told on me. I was exhausted, but I wasn't ready for sleep.

Looking around, I saw that the bikes were gone, but there were more cars parked. I moved to get Ashley's bag and I slowly and as quietly as I could got out of her truck. I went to the clubhouse and looked around, looking for some of the prospects. I saw Heck sitting at the bar, doing drinks for when the guys got back. I walked to him. I saw the girls in the bar, fucking croweaters and sweetbuds. I didn't know why they were here, but I was glad to see the Old Ladies. I got along with them. They were a nice breather. Especially Donna. I always liked Donna.

Going to him, he saw my eyes and he whispered, "shit."

I nodded, gulping and I told him, "umm…Ashley fell asleep on the way here. Could you carry her out and to my room? She's sleeping with me."

He nodded and I told him, "I'm just going to put her bag in my room. I'll be back out in a second."

I saw him go to walk outside. I knew that people were looking at me, but I just couldn't look at them right now. I couldn't meet their eyes as I went down the hallways and to my room. I opened it and set Ashley's back beside the bed and I took a notepad and pen I kept in the nightstand and left the note: 'If you wake up before I go to bed, I'm just in the main part of the clubhouse. Get some rest.'

I was just about to leave when I saw Gemma move into the room. She wasn't wearing heels, which was unlike her, but she snuck up on me. I jumped and held my heart, "Fucking Christ Gemma you scared me."

She gave me a small smile, "sorry baby, didn't mean to do that. Just wanted to see how you are doing. For how long you were there…I'm guessing that you were with them when…"

I interrupted her so she wouldn't say it, "Yeah. I was there."

She nodded and then walked over to me. She pulled me into a hug. I had been hugging Ashley ever since we made our way to his room. When Gemma held me, I put my arms around her too and hid my head in her shoulder. She told me, "I was upset when I heard it was him too, baby. I really liked him. He was good with us, the club shit…he was a good person. I'm really going to miss him. We all are."

I was silent, tears slowly beginning to fall down my face again. When Gemma rubbed my shoulder a bit, she then let go of me and I quickly wiped my eyes. She took my face in her hands and she said, "it'll get better. Jonah was an easy man to love and will be hard to get over. But we've got your back for this, okay? We'll get through it together. As a family."

I nodded and took in a deep breath before I looked over Gemma's shoulder and saw James coming in with Ashley, who was still sleeping. Gemma and I moved out of the way before I pulled back the covers of my bed for her. James carefully placed her small body in the bed and I covered her back up. Gemma looked down at her before looking back at me. James answered in a lower voice, "I'll go back to the bar."

I watched him leave and as he did, Gemma told me, "you're probably one of the bravest people that I know, Rowen. I don't know if I'd ever be able to watch a friend die like you did."

I gave her a small and low chuckle before shaking my head, "no Gemma, he was already dead when I got there. Now I don't mean to be rude, but if you wouldn't mind I would like a drink."

I walked out of the room and this time I could hear Gemma following me a little bit after I left. I heard her shut the door and I rubbed my eyes one more time before I made it into the main room. I went to the bar, looking down. I still didn't know how to talk to people. Eli was there too and I sat down beside him. I saw James pouring a glass of whiskey in two glasses and I asked him, "can I get one of those?"

James looked at me and nodded before he brought out another glass. After filling it as well. We each picked up a glass and clicked it together as we muttered together, "cheers."

All three of us held our heads back and took a drink before I set my glass down again. Getting up, I looked around the room, trying to find people that I could talk to. I sure as hell didn't want to talk, but I knew it would hopefully get my mind off of shit. I saw Luann talking with Piney. I always liked Luann. She was a friend who listened, but also made sure you had a good day. I didn't want to interrupt their conversation so I looked to the couches and I saw Donna there. I wasn't surprised not to see Mary Winston there. I haven't seen her since I first started working here and that woman was one piece of work. I heard that Bobby used to have a wife too named Precious, but I've never met her. Out of all the Old Ladies, even past Gemma, I loved Donna. With Donna it was like having another, more mature, older sister.

I saw her sitting on the couch, reading a book and I sat down beside her. She looked up at me and gave me a small smile. It was laced with pity, but I tried to ignore that part. She had one hand settled on her becoming larger stomach and with the other she set the book down.

"What are you reading?" I tried to catch the title on the front.

"Tuck Everlasting." Donna answered with a small smile, "it's not too bad. It's romancy. I don't know how much you would like it."

Shaking my head, "maybe. It has to be a pretty good book for me to enjoy romance."

She nodded, smiling a bit. I looked at her stomach and I asked her, "how is our little princess doing?"

Donna smiled and looked down at her stomach. She always smiled when the mention of her child came. It was Opie and Donna's first child and both of them were happy. I knew Opie was worried about having a family and being with the club, but he was more excited about being a dad. Ever since I first knew Opie I knew that he wanted to be a dad. He loved Donna so much, everyone here knew that. I was there when Opie and Donna made the announcement that she was pregnant and both of them were beaming as we cheered. We were all waiting for it, the guys even longer than me. They knew Opie and Jax forever since both of them were sons of the First 9. They waited until Opie finally proposed to Donna and then they waited until afterward where they would have kids. I didn't know Opie and Donna when they were married, but from seeing pictures I saw that it was a beautiful wedding and both of them were beyond happy. I hoped that nothing In the club would change their relationship. Both of them deserved to be happy together and with their family.

"Yeah, she's doing pretty good. She hasn't been too active today. I guess she was giving mommy a break." Donna answered.

I smiled down at her stomach. Donna was only five months through the pregnancy. The instant that her and Opie could learn what gender the baby was, they took the chance and got their wish. Most of the guys here I knew would want a son, someone to keep a legacy with the Sons of Anarchy, especially with the lines of their father being in the First 9, but Opie wanted a little girl and so did Donna. The only thing they couldn't agree on right now were names. Opie wanted Victoria, Donna wanted Elizabeth but to shorten it to Ellie.

I was about to comment more to her, but I saw the doors open again to see the guys coming back in. Some of them were looking to me, but I looked away. Opie came to Donna and gave her a kiss on the cheek. I smiled to them and Opie told me, "we're going to have Church, Clay would want you and the other prospects to join us."

I nodded and looked back to Donna, patting her leg, "I'll see you tomorrow I'm sure. Get some rest. Make sure to take care of our princess." I gave her a smile and she gave me one back. One thing I really liked about Donna was that she didn't even ask about Jonah. Maybe she didn't have time to, but she wasn't itching to get an answer. She already knew that I wouldn't want to talk about it.

Getting up, I saw the guys greeting the Old Ladies, Clay kissing Gemma before they went into the Chapal. I looked at James and Eli and they put down their glasses. I waited for them, the three of us going at the back, the last ones to get in. But it would be done together. We put our phones in the basket as well before entering the lowly lit room.

I was the last to enter the room, the guys already seated around the table. I shut the door behind me and leaned up against the wall beside James. I stared at everyone, hoping that I wasn't looking too somber still, but I couldn't force a smile to these guys. Even a fake one. No wonder Ashley couldn't take their crowd. I could barely take it now.

Clay looked at me and asked, "I assume that it's been done?"

No one looked at me with their eyes, but I was the only thing in their attention as I answered, "yeah…it's done."

Clay nodded and looked at the rest of us and said, "I called this to talk about what we learned, inform each other, and talk about what to do next."

We were all silent and Clay let out a breath and told us, "I know that we are all going to miss Jonah. He was a good man here, would have made a fine member. For some of us this is the first death had in their time with the club. For others it's not, but for each groups we feel the same amount of pain. However, we can't let this stop us. We need to keep on our toes. It was our mistake that we didn't expect retaliation, but now we keep our eyes open."

All of us nodded and he said, "Piney and I talked with the Mayans. We confirmed that it is not with their trade, that they are not working against us either. It further makes me suspect it is just the Niners, but until we know that for sure, we keep watch of ourselves. We also keep a good watch on the Niners."

All of us nodded again and Clay looked at all of us. After a bit he told us, "I suggest we stay in lockdown until we have a good handle on things, know all that we can know. Our priority is to stay out of a war. We can't afford to be in another one so soon. We're not going to bend ourselves, but we aren't going to break because of the Niners."

All of us nodded in agreement and Clay said, "prospects, you are going to be staying here to keep the guard on the clubhouse and Old Ladies. The rest of us are going to go on an information spree. We need information before we attack. We need to make talk with the Niners and our suppliers before we make means of attack or negotiation."

Nodding again, Clay looked around at us. It was like the silence lasted almost an hour, but truthfully I knew that only about ten seconds had actually passed. Clay told us, "we need to bounce back from this. It was a terrible loss, but let's not get hooked on it, make things worse for ourselves. We'll let Ashley and his parents work out the funeral. That's their right."

We all nodded and Clay looked us over one more time before he hit the gavel, "get some rest everyone. We're going to have a long couple of days."

We all nodded and I heard the screech of chairs against the ground as the guys pulled away from the table. James, Eli and I leaned off of the wall and were the first to leave the room. I went to my basket and picked up my phone. I don't know why I checked it. I knew that my family didn't have my number for my prepaid, but I checked that anyway. I knew that they left multiple messages on my home phone that I know I wouldn't get back to until a bit from now.

I went to sit at the bar, just as a natural reaction. I saw James get behind it and Happy came to sit beside me. I rolled my eyes, not being able to catch and stop myself from doing it this time. I was definitely not in the mood for his bullshit.

He seemed to notice and let out a chuckle, "I'm not here to pick a fight, little girl. I just want a drink."

"Don't call me that," I told him, "little girl."

"Why?" Happy asked.

"It's demeaning." I answered him, surprising myself that I last minute didn't blurt out the rest of what was in my mind which was 'you sack of shit'. But I knew that wouldn't go well.

He gruffed out a grunt and nodded, "fair enough."

James looked at me and he asked me, "you want some rum?"

"No. No thanks. I'm not going to drink myself out." I answered him and he nodded.

Happy turned to me and I knew that he was about to say something as he opened his mouth and I shook my head, "Happy Lowman I am really not in the mood. I just watched the doctors unhook my brain dead friend from his life supports, held my other friend who was sobbing about her boyfriend's death when I knew that it was supposed to be fiancé because he was looking for a ring to marry her, my mother and siblings probably left about five messages on my home phone so thank God that I never give them my prepaid's number because they are angry at me for causing my dad's death, I'm losing my mind because I'm not spending my energy doing shit because of my broken ribs and I'm losing my mind about it, I still don't have a vehicle and I can't ride a bike so I'm stuck using a taxi or getting someone else to drive my sorry ass around, and just to make my day that much worse, I'm pretty sure that I have trigger finger again, you know, just to make my day interesting. So no, I'm not in the mood for your sexist 'try and be a big girl with the big boys by picking at everything that I do and doing is through calling me a name to deliberately demean me and doing literally everything you want me to and to serve you at your every will except wiping my ass' bullshit."

I didn't say it loud enough for the others to hear it, but I remember the shocked face on James's face and the unknown look of Happy that was just always on his face before I got up from the chair and made it to my room. I looked inside to see Ashley sleeping and I immediately stopped and stared at her before I sighed and shut the door behind me and went to the bed. I pulled open the dresser and got out some sweat pant bottoms for me and an old shirt before I went to the washroom and turned on the hot water. I undressed, shutting the door behind me so the sound wouldn't carry to Ashley before I got in the shower, the water falling over me as I got into the fetal position on the floor of the shower, taking deep breaths to calm myself down.


	15. Chapter 15

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN**

I wasn't asleep long though. Ashley woke up about an hour later, startled by the new surroundings she was in and not remembering how she got to them. The sudden movements and sharp pants woke me up instantly and I turned on the lamp light that was beside me and I had to calm Ashley down again. It took a bit, but afterwards, both of us decided that the best way to get our minds away from Jonah was to distract it with a movie. I don't know if it exactly worked for her, but it didn't work on me. I was worrying to much about Ashley, but she seemed to be doing okay at least. She hadn't started crying again, she just had a depressed feel about her

Once it was the morning, I grumbled a bit as I went to sit up in the bed. I turned to look at Ashley and was glad to see that the girl was still asleep. I felt her move and toss around every once in a while, but she was asleep for the entire night. At this point now, I just hoped that she wouldn't have any nightmares. That was the last thing that the poor girl needed. She had to deal with working on Jonah's funeral with his family and I knew it would be hard to do that. I knew it would be hard to go through his things. I told her many times at the hospital and in the dorm that she would do anything to help, but she didn't know if Ashley would take it. Nor did I actually know if I could do it.

I forced myself out of the bed, holding my side a bit at first from the ache before I went to my dresser. I took an Advil from one of the packs that I had in my room that I kept in very high supply since I first broke my ribs. I needed a water bottle, but I also thought that I could make a start of cleaning the clubhouse right now if the guys made a mess last night before the guys yelled at me to stop. The clubhouse was dead silent, but it was about four in the morning so I wasn't surprised.

Still in my pajamas, I made my way out of the dorm and to the lounge to get a water bottle, Advil pills in hand when I saw something that surprised me. Happy was sitting at the bar drinking a bottle of whiskey. He looked over at me when I walked in.

Fuck. My. Life.

I wondered if he or James told anyone what happened. If I was going to be getting a talking down to or if he was going to lay it on me himself. I did deserve it. I was a prospect and I basically backhanded a member of the club I was trying to get into.

What do I even say to him?

I tried the civil approach and I told him as I kept walking to behind the bar to get a water bottle, "I didn't think anyone else woke up this early."

He gruffed a bit before answering, "I'm usually not up this early. I'm up at five usually."

I nodded and picked up the water bottle and opened it before setting the cap on the bar counter. I placed the pill in my mouth before I took a large gulp from the water bottle and swallowed both. I looked down at him. He was watching me. I took a breath and looked down at the bar counter. There was tension there. It was all mine and I knew it. I was worried about what he would say, what he thought of me.

So I decided to talk first.

I hate eating my pride.

"Look…" I started and turned my head to look up at him as I placed the water bottle on the bar and leaned my hands against it. He looked up at me and we stared at each other for a couple of seconds before I told him, "I'm sorry for what I said last night. I had a fucked up day and it wasn't fair that I pressed that on you."

I looked at him for a reaction and I just saw him staring at me, blanked faced. But there was something in his eyes. I couldn't read it completely, but it looked like it was understanding with maybe a hint of superiority.

He asked as he put the whiskey down, "you just saying that so I don't bring your ass to Clay?"

I shook my head, "No. Because it was an asshole move for me to do."

I hated how I was biting back my pride for him and he just sat there, un moving. I shouldn't have to explain and apologize for the shit that he blew over on me. If I was a patched member I knew that I wouldn't, but I was under him. I had to kiss up to him. It pissed me off but it had to be done. Happy could be the one to be the deciding vote to let me in. I had to get him on my side. I didn't have much time to do that. I would be patched in soon, hopefully. I was in the home stretch now. It was all or nothing.

He let out a sigh and I watched him carefully before he answered me, "at least you did it with your words. I've seen the guys go straight to fists."

Wait…

What?

He looked at me again and saw the shock that was being placed on my face. Was he actually giving me some empathy here? He moved in his seat to lean back in the chair so he could look at me better. He told me, "and as you explained it so nicely, it seems as though that you have been having it pretty rough the last couple of days."

I chuckled and shook my head, raising my hand to push it through my hair. I forgot to brush it this morning so I saw some struggle of knots, but my hand and fingers pushed through them. I chuckled and told him, "just a bit…either way it wasn't fair for me to run off you like that."

He shook his head, "I haven't been making things easy either."

"No, you're doing what a member to a prospect does. I'm just not used to it in this form," I answered, "and that's my fault."

Happy shook his head, "no, I kept testing you, trying to see how much you could take before you brought back your pride and stood up for yourself. The guys were telling me that I went too far a couple of times, but I promised them that you could speak on your own. I was just waiting for it."

I raised my eyebrows, listening to him. I was mad. Annoyed. He treated me like shit to see how far that I would go, how far until I cracked.

"Are you fucking serious?" I almost hissed it.

For once, his face changed and he smiled, "the guys told me that it wasn't fair for me to do it since you were in the prospect position, that it would compromise what you would normally take. That impressed me too. You knew what being a prospect meant, what you had to earn even though I could tell that you didn't like it. That's what it means to be a prospect, but I knew that you would stand up for yourself sooner or later, or at least you would tell me off in time."

"So you were waiting for me like a ticking time bomb?"

"Basically. It came off a lot more civil than I thought it would. You seemed like a girl who would throw a punch than use your words."

I stared at him for a bit longer, anger still boiling as I shook my head, my mouth open as I watched him take another drink, a grin still on his face. He told me, "you earned your prospect patch, Row. You knew what to take for the cause but you also knew when it was time to give yourself some credit. The anger just helped to bring it out."

"You are such a…" he interrupted me.

"Careful now you are still a prospect."

My mouth made a weird twitch that it went off to the side with a slight cracking sound. I let out a breath and gripped the bar hard before letting out a deeper breath to calm myself down. Happy told me, "if it makes you feel better, you earned your way in with me. The guys say that they kept telling me that you hated me, thought that I hated you. You were dead wrong."

I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. Although the real reason that I decided to listen, to hear what he had to say, was because he said that I earned my patch. He thought that I should be here too. Was I seriously this wrong? The guys kept telling me and telling me and I didn't listen. Although Happy had a big poker face to hide what he felt and the way he acted around me made it seem so too. But he did this to see how long it would take until I broke off that chain and came after him again. He was a dog barking on the street, edging me on and I was the one tied up to my fence. He wanted me to break that chain and go after him. He wanted me in the club, or at least that was what I was making out of it. He said I earned my way in by his standards. He was on my side.

Happy was on my side.

I decided to ask him questions. I mean, I deserved them didn't I? He led me around like a chicken with its head cut off to do what he wanted and it was to put me on a test?

"So when exactly did I earn my way then?" I asked him, "when was I Sons material?"

"You're going to hate me for saying this, but it was before I even met you." Happy said, waiting for my reaction.

You've got to be fucking kidding me.

"The tabs that the guys gave me on who was prospecting, I knew you and the other three were good to prospect. They explained all of the things that you guys did, your attitude was in numbers of conversations, what you did to be a part of the group. I knew you were set to be a Son before I even met you," Happy explained.

"Seriously?" my tone was one of surprise.

He nodded, "and when you came up to me and stood up for what I called you, I knew they were right. You walked around the club like you belonged, but that you were still not a full patch. I knew right then from watching you talk with the others your personality, that personality that is new but needed to the club."

I nodded and asked him, "so you are an observer?"

He nodded, "I've been watching you this entire time. I wanted to patch you in the instant that I saw you get out of your jeep that you let be torn apart for the club, for protecting us as we road and for getting them off our tail on that run because I know that not many guys would do that or even think to try. I wanted to give it to you when you came the next day and we knew your ribs were cracked at least and you hung your head high. Your pride needed to be knocked down. Chibs offered to do it. You learned something that day too. Your pride can be let down for us and I knew that was a step for you too."

"So…you're basically telling me that you pushed me to do your stupid shit and treat me like shit so that you could test me to see how much I could take and how loyal I could be to this club?"

He chuckled and answered, "in its basic terms. You learned what it meant to be in this club more. You learned when to let your pride down, when to hide it, and when to fake it and when to let it lose. You knew what it meant to be one of us by letting your pride down."

I was a bit calmer. I didn't like how he did that. How he basically played me like a guitar.

But I knew that it got his point across both to him and to me.

He looked at my chest as he took one last drink before setting down the bottle and asking, "how are you doing by the way…your ribs I mean."

I sighed and finally let go of the bar before I looked down at myself. I pulled up my shirt to show him the damage. The bruises weren't terrible now, but they were still prominent. He looked them over as I answered him, "not bad, but it still hurts to do anything drastic. Still no running for me."

"You ran the other day," Happy commented.

"That was for the club, and it made things worse. Every morning I usually go for a run for a while. Get rid of my pent up energy. Can't do that now," I explained to him.

He nodded, "I know how that is. Usually lifting weights does it for me when I feel like I need to let out some charge."

I smiled a bit. He understood a bit then. He knew my need that was bugging me not to run. I couldn't even lift or do any other exercises to put in my energy. It made me grumpy and fidget a bit more, but not so much that the guys took notice, but it was there. Or at least I noticed it because it made me even more annoyed about the situation.

I watched as his eyes trailed off to my side to where my dragon tattoo was and I saw the spark of interest hit his eyes and it was the only thing that I could see. There wasn't even a barrier of coldness that he usually had anymore. His attention was on the tattoo. And considering that I have seen most, if not all of his tattoos, I knew that he had an interest in them. He asked me, his voice a little less rough, "that's amazing work."

Just to be sure, I asked him, "my ink right?"

He nodded. I thought he would break into a grin but apparently I was wrong. I kept my shirt up and folded it a bit under my swimsuit before I pulled down the side of my pants so he could see the tattoo fully. He sat up so he could look down it, his focus on the ink that made the form of a Chinese Dragon. Happy leaned foreward and he looked at the ink on my skin carefully. From the stomach view he could only see the red and green head and a bit of the neck, but now he could see the full body form, the only thing disrupting it was my underwear line, but he could see well without it.

Everything on his face hinted of being impressed. He was obviously someone who could appreciate the form of art that tattoos were. He told me, "it was done amazingly well. Must've cost a fortune."

"It did, but I'm really happy with how it turned out." I gave him a smile. No one really commented on my tattoos before other than 'that's hot'. I'd seen the stuff he got. It wasn't as bold and artsy as this, more like outlines and thin symbols like the happy faces, but he knew what he was looking at and the effort to make it look that nice was.

"I would be too. Is this your kickass biker girl tattoo?" he asked.

I chuckled and shook my head, "Not even close. Got this my first year of college. May have saved up to get this instead of some textbooks."

He grinned and looked up at me. I explained to him, "I kind of call it my inner spirit tattoo. Like some people associate their soul and spiritual being a bit with a type of animal. I always saw mine as a dragon, mostly a Chinese one."

He nodded and he grinned up at me as I fixed my sweat pants up again and he told me, "I think I'll have to agree."

I smiled and told him, "my badass tattoo is the gun I have on the other leg." I brought it down a bit enough for him to see the tattoo of the look of underwear holding the gun on my outer left thigh. I had the dragon on the right that would also blend into my stomach and then go down my thigh a bit. It was a bit older fashioned style of a gun, but it made me look hot. It made it look like I was wearing garters.

I was more into sharing my body art now that I saw he had an appreciation for it. Looking at the gun, he grinned and said, "even that looks well done. Seems to fit you well too."

Smiling back at him, I told him, "thank you. Had a lot of fun with this one."

"Does it go all around?" he asked.

"It does." I answered.

He looked the tattoo over before he asked, "where do you get your tattoos done?

I shrugged and fixed my pants again, "got this one in college too, near the end."

He nodded, looking over me before looking back up at my face. You would have thought that I was still angry with him, and truthfully I was just a tiny bit, but I understood what he was doing…I would also just have to make sure that I would get back at him for some point too.

But for now I was glad to be on the same level with him for a bit. Or at least to be talking civilly to each other. For now we were getting along and I didn't need more grief. I had enough to deal with right now. I didn't want more anger and fighting.

"Do you have any other tattoos?" he asked me.

It was apparent that he was trying to be civil too. I was glad for it.

Nodding, I answered him, "yeah. I have a rose on my shoulder, a scorpion on my foot, a key on my inner arm, and a sister tattoo."

"I've seen the key one a couple of times. Really interesting and done well too. I like the gothic tone to it while having a skull with diamond eyes." Happy answered me.

I gave him one more smile before I told him, "thank you."

"What does it mean?" he asked.

I got quiet a little bit before I looked at the tattoo where it was on my arm and I told him, "my dad always told me that even in death you can open a new door."

Happy was silent for a moment and he told me, "I'm sorry…Heck told me last night what happened after you left."

I shook my head, "it's fine. You didn't know."

He tried to take the topic off and make a new subject before he asked me, "what about your sister tattoo. It's not some weird heart is it?"

I chuckled a little. That's what most girls got for sister tattoos. Something girly. I shook my head and moved from out of the bar so that I could show him my ankle and on the heel he could see it, a black spade that had designs to it. He stared at it and I explained to him, "this was my first tattoo. My sisters and I all got one. There are four of us, and there are for types in a deck of cards. We fit what matched our personalities the best. My eldest sister Rachel is the Club, my older sister Rhea is the Diamond, my younger sister Rebecca is the Heart…"

He finished for me, "and you are a Spade. That actually fits well."

I smiled and nodded. "Yeah, it did. I have three sisters and then my two younger brothers have brother tattoos. We've been trying to look for a family one, but we don't know what to make it as yet."

He nodded in understanding. I looked over my shoulder and sighed, "I'm going to try and get some more sleep. I was going to do some early cleaning but you guys didn't actually make a mess last night."

He chuckled, "yeah, Clay said that we should keep everything a bit on the low so that you guys didn't have to clean up anything."

I sighed and looked around, "I could go for the distraction. I don't want to wake up Ashley. I'm guessing everyone made it here for the lockdown."

He nodded and said, "you can sleep on the couch if you want. I was going to head back to my room after a couple of glasses."

I shrugged and looked at the couch, "no, I'd be a bother to the other guys when they woke up."

Happy shook his head, "trust me, you wouldn't. The guys wouldn't come near the room."

I chuckled, "why? I've seen the guys fall asleep on the couch and no one really bothered to do anything to keep quiet."

Happy looked up at me and he asked me after a couple of seconds of silence, "do you really want me to answer that?"

I nodded and he sighed, "because when Chibs did it, it was because his mother died, when Tig did it, it was because of his divorce becoming final, and when he did it again it was because Colleen got primary custody. When Gemma did it, it was because John died. You weren't around for those. We'll be quiet because you had to stay strong for Ashley and be there to watch your friend die before you."

I was frozen as I looked at him.

Perhaps I didn't want the answer.

**/thought that it was time to get things to calm down for Rowen and for there to be a reason behind Happy's actions...even if she is still mad about them :P Also, to look at the tattoos go to this link: post/106149997623/dragon-tattoos-where-it-is-gun-tattoo-where-it#notes . This is a blog that helps me sort out things that I want in the fanfiction and such. And I tell you that you can look around on the blog, however, I am not liable for the spoilers that you could find on it. I hope that you enjoyed the chapter, please tell me what you think :)**


	16. Chapter 16

**CHAPTER SIXTEEN**

That night I made my way back to sleeping with Ashley just so that I wouldn't be a bother to the guys. It was easier after Ashley left to talk with Jonah's family. I didn't have her depressed state of weight on me anymore.

The day got a bit easier. The Old Ladies woke up after us and by then, the guys had left. They wanted an early start, to hitch this in the butt before it got too out of control. Ashley left earlier, but I knew that she wanted to leave so that she wouldn't be reminded of Jonah around the clubhouse, although I didn't know how being with his parents would be easy. Dirty Eli was the one to follow her just to make sure that she was safe and no one would target her.

However, I didn't feel right having Eli out there. Not now when things went so wrong for Jonah. I don't know if I could handle the same for Eli or James…or even for any of the members. I experienced death before, but…this felt different. It felt so weird that I literally left Jonah away for five minutes and then he was dead. Had Opie and I left sooner, it would have probably been him or even me that got those bullets.

How could something so drastic happen in at most ten minutes difference?

I walked into the lounge area to see Donna sitting, still reading her book. I looked around and asked her, "you know where James is?"

Donna looked up at me and she answered, "he said he would make breakfast. Gemma is still asleep, or at least she hasn't come out of her room."

I nodded and gave her a smile, "okay. Opie said goodbye to you, right? Before he left?"

She grinned and nodded, "yeah, kissed my cheek and we passed goodbyes before he left."

"Good." I told her with a smile. Opie would have had my wrath if he didn't say goodbye to his pregnant wife before leaving, especially with what happened recently.

Donna giggled and I moved to the kitchen. I saw James there, looking over what was in the fridge. I grinned and asked him, "need any help?"

He looked up and at me before he chuckled, "well…I was thinking eggs and maybe waffles."

I nodded and told him, "sounds good to me."

I watch him nod and take out a carton of eggs while I go to take out the pans and butter. I stare at James as he begins to set things up. I sit at the edge of the counter and watch him. As he begins to start cooking the first egg, he asks me, "how are your fingers? You said last night that you might have trigger finger again?"

He looks over at me and I nod. I hold up my right hand and I move my fourth finger slowly. I can hear the cracks and the strain in the hand as I do so and I answer him, "yeah. One thing that sucks about being a mechanic and riding a motorcycle. I should buy some gloves or something, see if it helps."

He nods, "I know what you mean, had my fair share of it. You going to brace it?"

"I'll do it when Chibs gets back if he has time. It's not too bad right now, but I know that this is something that is going to get worse if not treated right." I answered him before I hoped off the counter and walked to the stove beside him. I told him, "you need to wait a little bit longer."

He looked over at me and raised his eyebrows. I shook my head and told him, "just because I dislike cooking doesn't mean that I don't know how to do it."

He grinned and I saw him flip the egg back over to cook a bit more before he looked at me. I could see in his eyes that he was going to ask something and I knew it was going to be about Jonah. I sighed and waited for it and he seemed to know that I was waiting. James asked me, "was…was it hard? No… I mean…I don't even know how to phrase it."

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair before I answered him, "yeah, it was hard as hell. Ashley didn't make it any better by sobbing, but I won't ever hold her to that."

"So you were there when…?" he asked.

I nodded, "watched them unhook him and his life line go flat."

James sighed and told me, "shit Rowen. I'm sorry."

I shook my head, "James, it's okay. It happened. There isn't anything to change it now. It was just…weird. I saw him only minutes before…" I shook my head, "things can't change now though."

James nodded and I looked over and saw Gemma came in. We looked at her and we sighed again before she walked foreward. Gemma told us, "sorry, I had to do some things at TM, close it since the guys will be gone all day."

James and I nodded again and I leaned against the cupboard before she walked over to us and stood next to me. She placed her hand on my cheek and she looked at me so I moved my head to finally meet her eyes. She gave me a sorrow look and I told her, "Gemma, I'll be okay."

She nodded, "I know baby. Be strong. I know that you are."

I gave her an appreciated smile before I looked over at the eggs when she let go. Noticing that they were almost done, I went to the freezer and I took out the waffles and I went to the toaster. Gemma chuckled, "doing the simple things for breakfast?"

I shrugged, "well Donna's got to eat and I'm a bit hungry myself."

She grinned, "you could have just found me. I could have made something more substantial then just eggs and waffles. We have sausages and I could have made omelets."

I shrugged, "breakfast and breakfast and food is food. I'm fine with eating things that aren't fancy."

James chuckled and I frowned picking up some plates. I moved my fingers and frowned at the pain. Gemma asked me as she took out the rest of the plates and the utensils, "trigger finger?"

I nodded, "like I'm not hurt enough. My ribs, now my finger."

She grinned and I heard my burner go off. I sighed and I picked it up, "Row here."

I heard Tig's voice on the other line, "hey, Clay wanted to check up on you all."

"Didn't you guys just leave?" I asked as I raised my eyebrows and placed some waffles on a plate to let them cool.

"Yeah, but I was going to call and ask you something anyway." Tig answered.

"Well, to answer your question, we are all fine. Making breakfast for everyone. Ashley went with Eli to Jonah's parent's house." I answered as I placed two more waffles in the toaster and put them down. James began putting the eggs that he made so far on a plate as well for everyone. I walked to the fridge, still holding my burner in my hand as I got the maple syrup.

Tig answered, "Good, good…listen, Colleen called me last night. I tried to tell her no, but she wouldn't have it. She's dropping off my girls today she said around lunch."

I nodded and told him, "we'll watch for them, make sure that nothing happens. I have younger siblings, I know kids."

"Thanks Rowen," he said, "just didn't want to scare you guys with two new kids."

"It's fine. I'll start getting another bedroom ready too for them to be in. That okay?"

"Thanks Rowen." Tig answered.

It was at that moment I heard sudden gunshots.

I didn't even think and neither did James. I dropped my burner and grabbed my gun from my pant belt. I saw in the corner of my eyes James do the same. I ran out through the kitchen and lounge to the front of the clubhouse screaming, "get down, get down!" I ran as fast as I could with James, our instincts on edge, on protection.

We went past Donna and I saw her moving to lay on the couch to try and get down since she couldn't get down on the ground quickly, the glass windows breaking from the shots. James and I were bending over a bit as we were moving fast. I heard Gemma coming out, her gun out to back us up. James and I each went to a window and looked out carefully. I looked over at Gemma to see her moving to help protect Donna. I looked out the window again and shot some bullets when I saw the car filled with our once suppliers beginning to leave with a loud screeching sound. James and I quickly ran back out of the clubhouse, making sure that they were gone and firing at them as they ran down the road. We caught the car a couple of times but they left. I let out a small sigh with relief as I looked at James, my eyes wide as I felt a shiver down my back when I realized it, "oh my God they thought everyone was here still."

He looked at me and then back up at the clubhouse. James realized what I said, how unsafe it was here. The horror was coursing through my veins, the dread making me almost feel sick, though the pain of running and crouching on my still healing ribs.

He told me, "we need to leave. Now."

I nodded and we quickly went back in. I looked at Donna and Gemma and I kneeled down before the pregnant women, "you're okay. You weren't hit were you?"

She shook her head. She wasn't hurt, wasn't' shot but she was shaken. Donna needed out of here. My God if they realized that James and I were the only ones here and came in to attack…

I looked at Gemma and I told her, "we're moving to my house. It's not safe here and they don't know where I live."

I didn't wait to see if she agreed with me. I stalked to the kitchen and I grabbed my phone, hoping that Tig was on the line. James was following me and I heard his pre-paid go off. I leaned down and picked up the phone, but I could hear Tig's voice over it already. I told Tig as I looked over at James as he answered the phone and immediately answered, "Donna's okay, Opie."

"Tig, get Colleen to bring the girls to my place." I told him.

"What happened?" he demanded.

"Car went by, it was full. We're moving everyone."

"Anyone hurt?"

"No. Just some glass got broken."

I was walking across the place quickly, almost running to start packing things up for Ashley and myself. I had the phone in my hand as I told him, "Tig they must have thought that everyone was here. They were packing."

I didn't even want to think what could have happened if they came in. James, Gemma and I could have made some damage on their side, but things could have gone really bad really fast. I wanted Donna out of here.

"You sure that it's okay we move things to your house? Is it safe?" Tig asked. I knew that he was worrying about the girls.

"I'm just out of Charming. They don't know where I live and I got lots of room with beds. I have four dogs too. Nothing will be able to sneak up on us." I told him as I quickly opened the doors and started packing my bags into a suitcase and grabbing my other things around the room.

"Tig I need to go. We need to move before they decide to come back again. I'll call you when we get back to my place." I told him.

He could hear the rushed determination of my voice and he agreed. I immediately hung up and I put Ashley's things back in her bag before I grabbed both of our bags and I brought them back to the lounge. I saw Gemma standing there with Donna. I gave her a nod and James came out as well, "I'll get the rest moving."

"Get Luann up if she isn't already. Might be in hiding." I told him.

He nodded and gave his phone to Donna, "it's Opie. I'll get your things."

Donna nodded and took the phone. James and immediately got to work, our adrenaline still pumping hard that I wasn't sure if I was even breathing.

No one hurts my family.


End file.
